Blessed Lessons

Naomi Crawling

2012-01-18T09:49:00.001-05:00

Naomi has been crawling for about a month. I finally got around to uploading this little clip of her brand new skills. She is nine months old now and super tiny, weighing in at 15.5 lbs, which is what your average 4 month old weighs. But she is very mobile, sitting, standing, crawling. She is beginning to make sounds that correspond with objects like saying "daw, daw" when she sees our dog and "ba, ba" for ball. She is very sweet and bright-eyed and alert. She loves her big brother and sister and laughs wildly at their antics. (I need to upload a video of that.) She is also the clingiest of all my children, really preferring Mommy to all others. Its normal for this age and I kinda love it. She's not a great sleeper at night, still waking every 2-3 hours for one reason or another. I DO NOT love that.

Our Advent Calender and Christmas Tree

2011-11-30T22:08:00.005-05:00

I am so pleased with my last minute, totally free and "up-cycled" Advent calender...

I made little pockets from brown paper bags, decorated them with clippings from old Christmas cards, a Target ad and the most recent issue of Martha Stewart Living, added generous amounts of iridescent glitter and voila! Now granted, this is not my dream advent calender. I spent way too long seeking inspiration from the wonderfully creative examples of advent awesomeness out there in the blogosphere. I know how adorable and stylish they can be. (Go ahead, Google it and see how creative some people are.) But you know what? Ta-dah! Its done and in one afternoon! And its all me. AND its the act of counting the days (and making them count) that I am most interested in.

Each day will have a special activity to celebrate the season. My main goal is to completely immerse ourselves in the biblical account of Jesus's birth. We will be reading from Matthew 1:18-2:23
and Luke 1 and 2. Many of our activities will be inspired from these texts.We will soak up the wonder that the same God who created the universe had a plan to redeem his fallen creation which began with him entering the world as a tiny baby, born of a peasant woman, in the poorest of conditions. Amazing!

Also we will:

Make Christmas tree ornaments

make and drink hot chocolate

cut and decorate snowflakes
make beeswax candles

go for a winter walk

go see Christmas lights at Lake Julian

make gingerbread men

watch a Christmas movie

make snow globes

donate clothes, food and gifts to needy

make outdoor ice art

make presents for Grandparents

Return to Bethlehem
have a special breakfast, lunch and dinner
visit family and friends
go to a Christmas parade
bake cookies

On down days, we'll read Christmas books by the fire. As a back up for the unexpected monkey wrench, (because life happens:) I have a few pieces of chocolate stashed away.

Wish me luck, I am so excited!!

And here is our lovely tree...

Crafty Fun

2011-11-18T18:59:00.004-05:00

We have had so much crafty fun in the last few weeks that I felt compelled to come out of blog hibernation.

I moved my art desk and supplies to the heart of our home, right into the dining room. Which is also our homeschool center. All of this makes for a very messy, non- decorator magazine space; very lived-in and reflective of our day to day life. I wasn't sure about it at first, but now, I love having my desk in there. My supplies are right under my nose all day long; I can't help but show them the love they've missed for the last 5 years.

To get myself back into creating, I started with commissioned pieces from the kids. Elijah requested a painting of a motorcycle jumping over a mountain. And I finished a piece started long ago for his room. Not the greatest photos...

Adah wanted a princess and a sand castle.
( Its a drawing and its behind glass so the photo is very poor quality.)

From there, I moved into a painting for Gabe and I' s room. Its in progress....

With stopover in a twice-failed drawing of our wedding day. They've been shoved into a drawer. No hard feelings. I am just glad to be working somehow or another.

We made this gratitude tree to count our blessings:

And today we went wild and made this turkey with items gathered from our yard and pantry. The kids absolutely loved it!

I highly recommend this craft for the sensory thrill of the different natural materials. But, its not for those who wilt at the idea of sticky, dirty (fun) messes.

I wanted to get in on the gluing, so I made this:

I keep wondering if its going to catch fire above our blazing hot woodstove.

Can you read that it says "Give Thanks"?

Let's see.... there is this crocheted flower and leaf mobile in the works for Naomi.

I am also knitting a hat and mittens for Adah and a pair of legwarmers for me.
(I realized recently that I work well with many projects going at once. It helps me not to get overly focused, analytical and critical of what I am working on. When I feel myself falling into this creativity killing pattern of mine I move onto something else for a while.)

And last but not least, one of my most favorite creations...

Love to all,

Liz

End of Summer Goodness

2011-09-19T22:14:00.001-04:00

We had a wonderful, wonderful time on Amelia Island, Florida.We had fantastic weather and made a bunch of great memories together. I ran the 5k and did even better than I had hoped. It was very emotional for me for some reason and I cried at the beginning and the end of the race. Elijah started soccer last weekend. He was amazing! He absolutely loved it.

Daddy's Day Off

2011-08-18T10:25:00.000-04:00

A relaxing day off is a rare thing around here. Because Gabe still (!) works 70 hours a week , there is always way too much to get caught up on when he's off. After all the house work type stuff is done and the errands are run, then we try to squeeze in some fun family time. Well, yard and house work be damned (excuse me!). It was high time for us to do something truly fitting for a day off, so we went for a picnic and swim at Triple Falls in Dupont State Forest and played games before bed and didn't mow the grass.

Elijah's Birthday!

2011-08-08T10:09:00.000-04:00

I can hardly believe that its been 5 years since Gabe and I were blessed enough to bring our Elijah into the world. He is in turns extremely thoughtful and serious, then silly and wild. He is quick in mind and body. He's adventurous and brave, curious and observant. He's just the coolest. We have to thank God everyday for the blessing of Elijah.

His birthday weekend overlapped with the visit of Gabe's brother Micah and his family. The weekend was filled with one huge family gathering after another. Elijah is one of 20 grand kids on this side of the family. It's a party! Whew! Here are a few pictures :

Gabe and Elijah rode go-carts to start the day.
We had a cookout with some of his favorite foods, burgers and corn on the cob.
We had cake and ice cream and presents (his favorite was a Transformer from Uncle Micah).
Oh, and a pinata and water balloons, what a blast!

Adah's Birthday!

2011-07-29T20:59:00.001-04:00

Adah celebrated her 3rd birthday this month! Oh my goodness, we love her! She is such a sweet and funny little girl. She lights up our lives with her sparkling personality. We are blessed beyond measure to be her family.

July

2011-07-13T22:01:00.001-04:00

Hello!

"Take a picture of my finger!"

Raspberries from the yard ( Adah ate all but one of hers).

Berry Love

Sweet Love

Snake :)

Pictures, just because.

2011-06-02T20:39:00.002-04:00

I love EVERY single little thing about Naomi. I even love her cry and her poop. I love EVERYTHING about this baby.

Sigh. Sigh. Big lovey-dovey sigh. Sigh again.

We all love her.

We've been painting.

He's so serious.

Good music puts them in the zone.

Adah hangs her art.

The walls needed something, he said.

Okay, also, I am going to run a 5k in September. This will be my first race and I am super excited. I like running, I need to lose weight and it just sounds like fun to me.

So, yeah, I am going to do it.

Success and Silliness

2011-05-16T20:38:00.019-04:00

Elijah is READING!

Here is a clip of his success and ensuing silliness between he and Adah, if you're interested.

We reached this happy milestone last week!
It has been so sweet to share in his joy at the accomplishment of reading a book all by himself.
I feel his demeanor is different in the wake of this triumph. Like he's been trusted with the keys to a great treasure: he carries himself with a shade more maturity,
holds his head higher.
Like he's been admitted to a secret "grown up" world, that up until a few days ago, was just out of his reach. He behaves as a newly minted member of a privileged people,
those who can unlock the magic of words.
*Sigh.* My little man.
I am happy for him. I pray he'll have a lifetime love of reading!

P.S.~ This was an accomplishment for me, too: My first homeschooling effort and God blessed us with easy success.
May ALL of our homeschooling be this triumphant!! :)

Surprises and Simplicity

2011-05-04T21:55:00.004-04:00

We love our new house, by the way.

The original owners planted many lovely shrubs, flowers and trees around the property. However, we bought this house as a foreclosure. Therefore, most of this landscaping is quite overgrown and out of control. It reminds me of my favorite childhood book, The Secret Garden. The work to tame the wildness and create our own vision here seems overwhelming at times, especially in the wake of giving birth. I let go of the plan to begin a vegetable garden this year (I didn't think we could handle it so soon). So, imagine my delight when I discovered, hidden amongst the weeds, the forsythia and azaleas- strawberries (lots of them), blackberries and raspberries! Yay for surprise summer fruits!

Yes, spring has been good to us. Or rather, God has been good to us this spring. We are so blessed with goodness and sweetness!

My cup is full to overflowing.

As I learn to be a mom to three, my greatest struggle is being gentle with myself when I am faced with my numerous shortcomings and failures. God knows that I can't possible do and be all that I want right now. But, I am learning to be grateful for all the little things that I do accomplish in a day.

I made breakfast, thank you Lord. I swept the floor, thank you Lord. I read a book to Elijah, thank you Lord. I nursed Naomi, thank you Lord. And I am learning to let go of all the things that I can't do and the long, ever growing list of things I'd like to do.... one day.

On Sunday, I bowed my head in church and prayed for simplicity. No, it was more than that, it was for the ability to simplify. Or more exactly, I prayed that God would give me the ability to simplify and to feel no loss over the things that have to fall away. Yes, that's it. It was a prayer for peace about what I have and what I am and what I can do. And the ability to allow the rest to peacefully... fall... away. To feel no loss or regret about those things. Doesn't that sound nice?

The LORD preserves the simple;
I was brought low, and He saved me.

Return to your rest, O my soul,
For the LORD has dealt bountifully with you.

Psalm 116:6-7

We Meet at Last

2011-04-20T22:30:00.002-04:00

In these long gazes, an understanding is established...

A lifetime of love and kinship stretches before us...
I love you without question or exception.
I am yours and you are mine.

She's Here

2011-04-09T22:12:00.000-04:00

Thank you so much for all of your prayers.

Naomi arrived safely 10 days ago and we are doing wonderfully.

I will write more as time and energy permits!

Love,

Liz

Full Term Update

2011-03-02T20:21:00.006-05:00

I am now officially full term, and if the baby should decide to come today, my midwives would not try to stop labor and the baby would not be considered early. Praise the Lord!!

Technically, my due date is not until the 20th of March...and... both Adah and Elijah were 10 days late. So I am struggling to be realistic about how much longer we have until we meet this baby. It could be any day, could be 4 weeks from now!

But, you know what? I feel pretty good. I struggle with keeping worry and fear at bay, due to the recent loss in our family. I am uncomfortable. Its to be expected. But overall, I am just so grateful for this baby and for a very healthy pregnancy. I guess I will wait and try to enjoy the wait, too. What other choice do I have?!

Meanwhile, here are few pictures from the last few days.

The first set is from my laundry room midway through becoming, not just a laundry room, but a laundry room/ art studio. Its done now; complete with a desk, sewing table, shelves and organization. I am happy to say that today I did some "therapeutic painting" surrounding my hopes and fears concerning labor and delivery. It was a great feeling to sit down at my very own art desk, with all of my supplies easily at hand, and let something hidden come out. I would share what I created, but it is a bit too personal for this venue at this time:). With any good luck, I will be sharing some art in the coming months as I continue to explore my new space.

Yes, that's my belly in the foreground.

We have one of Elijah ruling the roost in the fabulous backyard playhouse:

Next, a picture requested by Elijah, complete with Adah examining her hair beads mid-shot:

Yesterday, Gabe and Elijah built a little bird house. This morning, Adah and Elijah had a lot fun painting it:

Just to show you how modest I can pretend to be, and not at all vain... Hah! I am going to post a picture taken by Elijah while I was hanging the bird house. Its shot from a vvveeeerrry flattering upward angle, accentuating my rotund figure. And, I have a super- charming look on my face. The look, to me, says: "I've eaten 4 blueberry muffins today and I am exhausted from waddling out to the front yard." Which, by the way, was true. I post it as evidence of my full-term-ness.

Okay, to erase that image from your mind, I now present you with the proud birders posing with their creation:

And now a close up...

Finally, Gabe found a great used woodstove insert on Craigslist and installed it himself, saving us $2500, the cost difference of buying a new stove and having it professionally installed. We bought this hoping to offset our $500/ month heating oil bill. I post these pictures as proof to naysayers (you know who you are:) that we made a good choice going the 'used-self install-money saving' route and that we aren't going to burn the house down. The house is nice and warm, just in time for spring:)!

You probably won't hear from me here until after the baby is born. But, I will post pictures and details when the time comes! Pray for us!

Love,

Liz

Merry Christmas

2010-12-25T16:30:00.002-05:00

Merry Christmas everyone! We are so thankful to be together on this peaceful snowy day (5 inches, so far!); the first Christmas in our new house. Thank you for praying for us over the last few months. We moved into our new home just after Thanksgiving. The last few weeks have been very full with moving, unpacking, getting settled in, then each of us fell very sick, too.

In the midst of all of this, we also experienced a great tragedy in our extended family. This, in addition to deep sadness and grief, caused us to pull closer to one another, in gratitude for children and family and "every good and perfect gift from above" (James 1:17). With all this going on, I have had much to say, but have been too overwhelmed to bring it to this space. I hope to be back here more in the coming new year.

We wish you all a very Merry Christmas and very blessed and sacred day together; full of remembrance and awe for the greatest gift ever given- "For unto us a child is born, unto us a son is given; and the government shall be upon his shoulder: and his name shall be called Wonderful, Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace." (Isaiah 9:6) May you all truly know the love of Jesus today and always.

Ultrasound today and its a....

2010-11-02T23:01:00.005-04:00

BABY! Yay!

That's right! For all of you out there who keep asking what we're having... it's official.... we're having a real human baby. No more wondering if its a giraffe or porcupine or whatnot. Rest assured, I saw the critter squirming around in there today and its a little baby person of some kind!

All joking aside, baby looks good and we did not find out the gender. I initially decided against having an ultrasound for this pregnancy. However, over the course of the last week I wasn't feeling a lot of movement from babe and a spirit of fear crept in. I made the appointment, just for peace of mind, I reasoned. Of course, since the scan this morning the baby has been more active than ever before. Kicking and punching, rolling around, going bananas! Tonight, for the first time, I could feel movement from the outside of my belly. So, I don't know... It's like the babe is telling me that the nosy old ultrasound wasn't needed, "if you want movement, well, here ya go!"

We are really so excited and thankful to meet this new little member of our family in March. Strangely, I feel more sentimental, emotional and excited about this baby than during either of my last two pregnancies. I can only imagine its because I know and understand the joy that lies ahead (unlike my pregnancy with Elijah, my first) and I am not scared about how I will handle another (unlike my pregnancy with Adah, my second). I am just, plain and simple, happy to be pregnant and grateful for this gift! So, please keep praying our little baby in the belly, there are still 20 weeks to go.

Here's a pic of how we're growing.
(I am working on scanning an ultrasound pic. I've yet to figure out my scanner.)

Sorry for not posting in a month. I've been debating about shutting the blog down. The day may be coming soon. Despite having a lot on my plate right now, I just don't feel like I have much to say.

We are still sorting through the details of buying the house that I told you about last time. So many details! If all goes well, we will be in the house before our lease runs out here at the end of the month. It looks to be about a 50-50 chance that it will work out that way. We appreciate all prayers on this matter, too. :)

I'll try to post more, thanks for hanging in here with me.
And thank you all for your friendship, love and support. Love you all!

Under Contract

2010-10-01T19:51:00.000-04:00

After 6 months of diligent house hunting, Gabe and I are happy to say that we are under contract to purchase a house!

The house is in the Fairview area. It is a foreclosure and we think we got a pretty good deal for it. Its in good condition, though it needs some updating, mostly cosmetic. Its on almost 2 acres and is about 1700 square feet. There is a small finished area in the basement that will be our homeschool room and a huge detached garage with electricity that will be Gabe's workshop. The lovely large living room has a fireplace, big windows and nice hardwood floors. The bedrooms are small, but the common spaces are spacious and the yard is huge. The majority of the property feels private and enclosed with nice trees. There is a little swing set for the kids in the backyard and plenty of space for gardens.These are all the good things about it.

There are a few downsides, too, because nothing is perfect in house hunting. We learned that quickly. I blogged a while back about being prepared to make compromises; we did make a few. But, I am still satisfied with our decision. One down side: the exterior of the house was recently painted a deep "marinara sauce" reddish-orange from top to bottom and we hate it. It will take a lot of time and money to repaint, so we will have to live it with it for a while. We have an interesting neighbor situation, too. Its not terrible; though it will require a bit of landscaping to carry the private feel around to that side of the property .

There are many hoops to jump through before the house is officially ours, but we are hopeful that everything is going to work out. Especially because we had to give the required 60-day notice to the lovely Eastwood Village Apartments that we will not be renewing our lease. In other words, 60 days from today, we have to be out of here. Closing on a house can sometimes take 60 days or more. Therefore, we are praying for a speedy, smooth closing process. Ideally, we would close a couple of weeks before we have to be out of the apartment giving us time to paint and clean the new house before moving in.

Here is a link to the listing... notice the lovely chocolate brown and orange paint inside! We have our work cut out for ourselves, but hopefully, it will pay off.

Hilton Head Island, SC

2010-09-18T16:23:00.003-04:00

Vacation 2010:

Resting, Sunning, Swimming, Biking, Hiking, Sanding, Kite Flying, Nature Watching, Recovering, Forgetting, Remembering.

Dickinson Family Gathering

2010-09-05T12:20:00.003-04:00

We had the opportunity to see all of Gabe's brothers and sisters together this weekend along with all of their respective spouses and children. I have so much I could say about the dynamics of such a big family. But as with all things lately, I just don't have the energy to put it into words. So I am going to keep with my trend and post a few pictures instead.

Barbara (Mom, Nana) with all of her children ( listed from the oldest who is 36 to youngest who is 23): Jessica in the red dress, Hope in the white shirt, Leah to the left of Barbara in grey, Jacob with sunglasses on his collar, Noah with sunglasses on, Gabe in the Piazza shirt, Micah right behind Barbara. (Gabe looks a little weary here; there were LOTS of pictures taken.:)

Barbara with almost all of her grandchildren ( We are missing Hailey, Micah's daughter who is in California). There 19 in all, with 2 more on the way. Gabe and I are expecting another baby in March and Hope and her husband Raul are expecting their first in December. The ages of the children range from 5 mos to 16 years old. Cute family, huh?

♥The Dickinson that matters the most to me.♥

Blueberry Pickin' and a Splash in the River

2010-08-30T20:05:00.000-04:00

Happy Birthday Elijah Gabriel!

2010-08-07T11:06:00.000-04:00

Yesterday was Elijah's birthday! My family drove up from South Carolina to surprise him. We all took a trip to Fun Depot for some birthday chaos. After the Fun Depot, we returned home for cupcakes and presents. We rested for a bit then drove to Hendersonville to have dinner with Nana (Gabe's mom), Aunt Hope and a few sweet cousins. I think he had a very fun day! In the midst of all the action, I only took a few lousy pictures. I do have this short video clip to remind us of the day:

Happy Birthday Sweet Boy! On the day you were born, my ability to love grew one thousand fold. Suddenly I was needed and had a purpose in life: to protect and love this tiny life. And though you're not tiny anymore, my purpose is the same. Being a mom, your mom has brought me so much joy and fullness. Over these last four years, I've learned what true sacrificial love/ agape love is... the love that loves despite what the other person does or says, how they treat you, what they do or don't do for you. And because of that, I feel like a better person. Being your mother has made me a better person. You make me laugh, cry and scream. You may make me happy and I am so thankful to have you in our lives.

Happy Birthday Adah Lucia !

2010-07-16T19:33:00.002-04:00

Two years ago today Adah Lucia was born! I didn't think it was possible to love another as much as I love her brother, but of course, I was wrong. Look at this sweet face! I never had a clue what kind of person she would grow to be. I still don't know! Its so awe inspiring to watch her morph into a totally unique person with a totally unique personality. Its so simply obvious, but who can understand it- There has never before been nor never again will there be another person like this one! How marvelous and thrilling to be a part of her life.

I am mystified by her. Who is she? What a gift to watch your child unfold before your eyes, revealing bit by bit who they were divinely created to be.

Here is a photo tour of her special day. It didn't work out to have a party for Adah today. Determined to make her day special anyways, I dolled her up and took her on a tour of her favorite people. First stop, Nana's house:

Then off to Greenville to meet my parents for a playdate at an indoor play center.

Check out E and A's faces when they saw Mimi and Pop-Pop walk in:

My folks took us to lunch at a adorable and delicious cafe, where we also enjoyed cake, candles, balloons and presents:

Lastly, we stopped by Daddy's work for another round of cake, candles and presents and of course, Daddy-love:

I thank God everyday for creating Adah and putting her in our family and for making her the amazing, bright, bubbly, sweet, beautiful girl that she is. I feel like the most blessed mom in the world to have such a special daughter!

Two Days Off

2010-07-06T14:11:00.003-04:00

Gabe had two days off in a row this weekend! Whoo! It was a first since starting his current job at Piazza. Since all of our days off in the previous months have been consumed with renovation, work around the house, packing, moving and house hunting, we were determined to make these days truly fun and restful.

On Sunday, we started the day by going to church. ( We haven't been in months also due to his job). We tried a new church and it was pretty great. I miss being together in worship, having fellowship with other believers and most of all hearing God's word taught and explained to me in an inspirational way. I hope it works out for us to visit this church again. Then we had lunch and came home for a long nap in the air conditioning of the apartment.

For dinner, we headed to Etowah to visit Gabe's family. Its also been months since he's spent time with any of them. We had a really sweet and fun time cooking out, eating and talking with people we love and miss a lot.

Our children really couldn't be happier than when they get to spend time with any of their 22 cousins (20 on Gabe's side, 2 on mine :) Gabe's oldest sister has 8 children, 6 of whom are boys. Elijah loves to play rough and tumble and rarely gets to truly cut loose with children of his own age. For the safety of others, he is usually required to play in toned down and more sedate fashion than he's naturally inclined. But with his boy cousins he wrestles, chases, tags, tackles, hits, kicks, drags to the ground and generally goes all testosterone! I was happy for him; its fun to see his true enthusiasm and toughness be allowed to come forth. I could see they were all hurting each other at times, but they were also laughing and kept going back for more. So I let him have the opportunity to be ALL BOY and I stayed out of it.

Adah also loves a little wild play. She was thoroughly amused by running around in circles, falling down on the ground and rolling down a hill together with the little ones. At one point, I was a little concerned for her safety because she was laughing so hard, she was having a hard time catching her breath.

On Monday, we had a family day adventure. We decided to be tourists and took a 20 mile drive to Lake Lure. We spent the day baking in the hot July sun on the shore of the lake, swimming, splashing, and picnicking. What a blast! I really felt like we were out of town on vacation for a few hours.

We were all so happy to have some down time together.

We made some good family memories, too. Good Times!

- Home -

2010-06-17T00:15:00.003-04:00

Happy Anniversary Gabe... this is for us... especially now, I love you. Its been a good 5 years... here's to many more and here's to HOME!

Home by Edward Sharpe and The Magnetic Zeros

Whistle
Her:
Alabama, Arkansas,
I do love my ma and pa,
Not the way that I do love you.

Him:
Holy, moley, me, oh my,
You're the apple of my eye,
Girl I've never loved one like you.

Her:
Man oh man you're my best friend,
I scream it to the nothingness,
There ain't nothing that I need.

Him:
Well, hot and heavy, pumpkin pie,
Chocolate candy, Jesus Christ,
Ain't nothing please me more than you.

Both:
Ahh Home. Let me go home.
Home is wherever I'm with you.
Ahh Home. Let me go ho-oh-ome.
Home is wherever I'm with you.

La, la, la, la, take me home.
Mother, I'm coming home.

Him:
I'll follow you into the park,
Through the jungle through the dark,
Girl I never loved one like you.

Her:
Moats and boats and waterfalls,
Alley-ways and pay phone calls,
I've been everywhere with you.

Him:
That's true.
Laugh until we think we'll die,
Bare foot on the summer night,
Never could be sweeter than with you.

Her:
And in the streets you run afree,
Like it's only you and me,
Geeze, you're something to see.

Both:
Ahh Home. Let me go home.
Home is wherever I'm with you.
Ahh Home. Let me go ho-oh-ome.
Home is wherever I'm with you.

La, la, la, la, take me home.
Daddy, I'm coming home.

(talking)
Him: Jade
Her: Alexander
Him: Do you remember that day you fell outta my window?
Her: I sure do, you came jumping out after me.
Him: Well, you fell on the concrete, nearly broke your ass, you were bleeding all over the place and I rushed you out to the hospital, you remember that?
Her: Yes I do.
Him: Well there's something I never told you about that night.
Her: What didn't you tell me?
Him: While you were sitting in the backseat smoking a cigarette you thought was gonna be your last, I was falling deep, deeply in love with you, and I never told you til just now.

Both:
Ahh Home. Let me go home.
Home is wherever I'm with you.
Ahh Home. Let me go ho-oh-ome.
Home is where I'm alone with you.

Him:
Home. Let me come home.
Home is wherever I'm with you.

Her:
Ahh home. Yes I am ho-oh-ome.
Home is when I'm alone with you.

Her:
Alabama, Arkansas,
I do love my ma and pa...
Moats and boats and waterfalls,
Alley-ways and pay phone calls...

Both:
Ahh Home. Let me go home.
Home is wherever I'm with you.
Ahh Home. Let me go ho-oh-ome.
Home is where I'm alone with you...

Bittersweet

2010-06-07T23:34:00.006-04:00

Tonight is the last night we will call this house "home". We are off to our "Summer Home"- the apartments up the hill from Gabe's work. We will continue to search for our long term home while we enjoy the pool and the air conditioned, low maintenance convenience of apartment life. No doubt our new home will be all the more sweet after 6 months in the apartments. Along with no maintenance we will have no yard, no view, no privacy. No matter! We are going to make the most of this- its a short term adventure in our long lives together!

And life is good as long as we are together.

Elijah sleeps soundly.

Perhaps he did not care to hear the 6:30 am train,

blare past our house, one last time.

Adah, asleep with her pocket new testament,

psalms and proverbs. Bless her little heart:)

Plan B

2010-05-27T21:47:00.002-04:00

19 days. 19 days until we need to be out, so they can move in. How did this happen? How is it that our house sold in a blink of an eye, but despite our relentless searching, we have yet to find a new house to call home?

Its on to plan b. We need somewhere to go. Even if we found our dream home tomorrow, the bank would need 30-45 days to close our loan, leaving us homeless for a month or more. On top of that, we just seem to be running into a variety of other barriers, impediments, hurdles, potholes, etc. It seems that Gabe and I mostly want different things. For instance, different houses. Financial frustrations abound. It doesn't help that Gabe only has one day off a week to go look at houses.

I would be disappointed and defeated if I didn't have such a Mighty God.

I am really not worried, maybe a bit wearied, though.

As I write that, Galatians 3:9 comes immediately to mind, and I am encouraged:

^"Let us not become weary in doing good,

for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up."

So, yes. Lets not become weary, but lets also be real. We can't be homeless.

We could stay at Gabe's mother's house, she has an extra room. My parents have offered their camper to us. Maybe we'll rent for a while, a long while, and save some more money. Maybe we'll just rent short term while we continue to house hunt. I am sort of dreaming of an apartment, of all things. I like the idea of no maintenance and most of all, a pool all summer long. Am I crazy? I hate apartments.

A house I rented many years ago is up for rent again. It sits at the end of a dead end road that backs up to Pisgah National Forest. I loved the summer I spent there. I often reminisce about that summer for many reasons, it was truly a great summer. One of my favorite memories of the house is of sitting on the deck at night listening to the coyotes and the katydids fill the night air with eerie music. And look, today its on Craigslist for rent. What of that?

I really just want to be settled somewhere with a break from the tumult and upheaval. I think we need to catch our breath for a bit and reevaluate. But what do I know? We truly are just taking it day by day and trying not to make any huge mistakes.

An update and a ramble

2010-05-13T20:56:00.005-04:00

We made it through the very stressful trial of the home inspection and the subsequent price renegotiations. Over the last few weeks of anxiety and fret, Gabe and I have looked at each other, at different times, and said, "please make this stop, make them (the buyers) go away, lets just stay here and call the whole thing off."

Unfortunately, contract signed, that option is impossible for us. The buyers, on the other hand, can call the whole thing off. For three weeks, they are given the opportunity to inspect the house and to negotiate repairs. They have until May 14th (tomorrow) to cancel the deal based on what they find in the inspections. Barring some MAJOR change of heart on the part of the buyers, who really want our house, this deal is going through.

Therefore, in one month, we have to be out. Can you sense my excitement? No? Well, its because we have not found a house for ourselves. We have searched daily for our new home. And what we want just isn't manifesting. Our first dilemma came when we realized that what we want can be found, rather easily and affordably, outside of the county we currently live in. Meaning, we can have our dream home but it would require a 30 minute or more drive to and from Gabe's work daily.

It was not an easy choice. When committing ourselves to such a major financial burden, we want to do it because we LOVE the house we are buying. However, Gabe is still working 14 hour days, to that we hate to add an hour or more round trip commute. That's thirty less minutes with us in the morning, his only time with the children. And instead of getting home at 11 or 11:30 pm, he'd be getting home after midnight. It doesn't seems worth it. So we have decided not to look outside of the 20 minute mark for Gabe, which is the greater Asheville area.

And since our price range is low for the Asheville area and we are faced with another dilemma: a nice house or lots of land. You can have a nice house on a tiny lot in a crowded subdivision. Or you can get a dumpy house or trailer on a big beautiful piece of land. We realize that we might have to make compromises. We know we might not get our dream home this time around. However, we refuse to buy a house out of fear. The compromises we are willing to make must be accompanied by peace and a feeling of satisfaction with our choices. If and when, we sacrifice our vision for this next house, we insist that it be for a very close 2nd best; and though a compromise, that we still LOVE it!

So now, we are just praying and waiting for the LORD to absolutely THRILL us ( a great prayer, prayed for me by my good friend Jennifer). We may be waiting for a while. That's okay. In Ephesians 3, we are told that God "is able to do exceedingly abundantly more than we can think or imagine". By golly, I believe it!

So this is our prayer, though by all worldly accounts, we won't be able to find this. We are not looking to the world for our provision! Can I get an AMEN?

Lord, If its Your Will for us, We would like a three bedroom, 2 bath house. A good sturdy house, it doesn't have to be new. In fact, preferably would be an old house, recently remodeled. It doesn't have to be so very large, but we would like room to grow into it for a while. Perhaps a basement that could be finished or a room over a garage? I would love a small, upstairs room with lots of natural light and nice view to make for a studio space and Gabe needs a garage or a workshop. Please, please, a large-ish, mostly level, sunny lot for gardens and lots of outdoor play with dogs and children. We don't mind painting or freshening up, but this time around, we need a break from a house in need of total rehab. We want a feeling of seclusion, but not isolation. We don't mind neighbors, but no subdivisions. We simply want a bit of land that gives feeling of peace and privacy. And lastly Lord, we know where this gets tricky, but we need it to be close to town. No more than 20 minutes from Gabe's work and preferably, in the Fairview area. Oh yes, and can our monthly payments actually be LESS than what we pay now? AMEN!

Under Contract

2010-04-27T21:06:00.002-04:00

We put our house on the market last Monday. On Saturday, we received an offer to purchase our home from the second set of folks to tour our house. Six days! I can't say I am totally surprised. ( though I am feeling more and more stunned as the reality sets in). We really pushed hard to get our house ready and on the market by the end of April. There is a first time home buyer credit of $8000 available to home buyers who are under contract by the 30th. We knew that first time home buyers were really our market, so we were prepared for the possibility that our house might sell quickly. Not to mention that Gabe did such a great job with the remodels and we priced it really well. Tomorrow our house will be inspected, and if all goes well with that, then we are officially set to be kicked to the curb on June 15th. Six short weeks from now.

We are really excited, but also very anxious about what will happen next. I have very, very high and specific hopes for our next home. We are praying hard that we will find what we are looking for in the next two weeks. If we don't, then we will be looking for a temporary home while we keep searching! I'll keep everyone updated on how the inspections go and better yet, how the house hunting is going. Check out our MLS listing for a great look at our finished product:)

Before and After

2010-04-16T19:30:00.003-04:00

I know I've shown you guys some of these before. But we've made more progress on our house and I might go as far to say that we are finished (!) with the renovations. In fact, our house goes on the market Monday. I would love to show the TRUE before pictures... the pictures of what it looked like when we moved in... but I'll need to figure out how to use my scanner to do that. Meanwhile, here are some mid-way before pictures and some after pics.

Easter Cuteness

2010-04-05T15:16:00.003-04:00

Some Scenes from Early Spring

2010-03-21T09:10:00.000-04:00

Look how they grow...

2010-03-15T20:41:00.007-04:00

Elijah, 3.5 years old....

See that word 'cat'? He wrote that all by himself; no one was in the room, no one suggested it or helped him. This might be bragging, but I was hugely impressed. I asked him what he was doing and he told me, "I'm spelling." I was a little taken a back by how well it was written and that it was, well, that it was a word! So, I questioned him further and he told me that he had written the word cat, "See?". He said it with a bit of an attitude as if to say, "Can't you read?". I love him, he's so cool.

Adah, 20 months old....

She is a little distressed because she is stuck in the cabinet. If she would have let go of the Thai flavored potato chips in both of her greasy paws, she probably could have climbed out. She loves to raid this cabinet, its full of snacks. I often find her fully tucked into the cabinet digging through a bag of chips or box of cereal. Its like her little secret lair of treats; if I had one, I'd probably be in it all day, too. I love her, too, a lot, a lot.

Awards Ceremony

2010-02-23T19:05:00.002-05:00

Today we attended the Asheville Chamber of Commerce Awards luncheon where Rezaz and Piazza Restaurants ( Gabe's employer for the last 8 years) won the Over-the-Top Excellence in Service Award. It was quite an honor to be chosen. The awards are given to businesses of all sizes and sorts in Asheville and this year Rezaz/ Piazza was the only restaurant honored. I know I am a bit biased, but I'd like to think that the excellent, over-the-top service that they were being recognized for was in large part thanks to Gabe, who goes above and beyond day in and out to give every single person who walks in the door at both restaurants the best service and experience they could ever ask for. He is really good at his job!

In the 6 years that we have been together, this is the first time that I've worn high heels and the last time he wore a dress coat was at our wedding... I thought we deserved a picture.

Also, I am sooooo excited, my good friend Kelcey from Sweet Mess gave birth to a little baby boy, Eliseo, today!!!!!!!! I can't wait to hear all the beautiful details and meet this amazing new member of our world:) We Love you Kelcey!!

ups and downs

2010-01-12T21:49:00.000-05:00

What a day of ups and downs! Beginning with an up: an amazing morning out without the kids to attend a bible study with 200 women and my best friend. Then a weary string of downs: a flat tire and large mechanic bill; a frustrating dental appointment; a busted water pipe, a flooded basement; an insanely discouraged and frustrated husband and finally a cancelled date night :( . And then there was this freecycle score-

!!!!

Once again, people, God really does provide! Yes, today was a trying and exhausting day.

This box LOADED FULL of nice, new craft paint, just the kind paint one would need to paint many, many little wooden dolls, was such a blessing and the pat on the back that I needed in midst of all the kicks in the shins.

Painting

2010-01-06T12:46:00.000-05:00

S-s-s-s-ooooo C-c-c-coooolllld-d-d-d

2010-01-03T12:11:00.004-05:00

It is sooo cold here. I don't like it. Our house is freezing. Despite efforts this summer to weatherize with new windows and doors, we are still shivering our arses off over here. As I've mentioned before, we rely on our wood stove for most of our heat. We've had a fire going round the clock for six weeks now. Still, when I woke up this morning the thermostat on our space heater said 42 degrees. (Teeth chattering as I write that). We've been up for 3 hours now with every space heater and the fire going full blast and this is what we are up to:

We ate hot oatmeal and warm milk for breakfast in sweaters, hats and mittens.

I am not the biggest fan of cold weather. I know I'm complaining.

Oh but, there is good news! This morning is the first morning that Gabe's new assistant at the restaurant is opening up all by herself!! She will be opening one morning a week and closing one night a week and Gabe will have a little more time at home.So, Gabe is here...physically, anyways. Its 12:30pm, he's asleep and he has to be at work at 2. I guess I'll take what I can get:)

In an effort to remain positive about my numb fingers and toes, I am open to all suggestions of how to make the most these frigid conditions. Anybody?

Some Christmas Cuteness

2009-12-29T09:47:00.002-05:00

Snowy Days

2009-12-20T13:29:00.009-05:00

Yippee! We just got our internet back. Yes, we were hit by a crazy winter storm here in Asheville which set a 10 year record for snow in our area.

Here are few of the best shots from our days and days and still going... snowbound isolation.

It is what every good mom would do, right?

2009-12-17T11:53:00.003-05:00

Grab the video camera? When you look over to see that your 18 month old has taken off her sock and is sloshing it around in her cereal.... naturally, you get the video camera. I mean, there she is, looking pleased as punch eating cereal off her milk-soaked sock. And really, who could resist capturing such a happy baby doing such a silly baby thing on film? If Gabe were here he would have absolutely fallen apart over the grossness of it all, but me, no! I found it rather cute and funny, for some reason. So here it is...

Our Christmas......tree?

2009-12-12T20:14:00.001-05:00

This is a little embarrassing but, I am going to share anyways. I am not a huge fan of spending all that money on a tree that has been cut down and is now dead and will eventually be trashed so, I usually decorate one of my larger houseplants for Christmas. This year I asked for tree trimmings on freecycle. Someone actually responded with an armload of branches trimmed from their fresh norfolk pine. They have been in the trunk of my car and then my front porch for two weeks, as I have been too busy to figure what exactly I had in mind for them. Finally today, I got around to creating this....

I bound the branches, together stuck them in a vase, decorated and called it good. My sweeties love it so I am happy. Merry Christmas!!

I should be painting...

2009-12-11T22:38:00.001-05:00

but I wanted to share some pics from some recent orders:

The two ladies and their goats ( Goat farmers from Australia)

Another super cute family from Australia.

Dad and son in their favorite football jerseys and Mom in her team's scarf.

A custom family from California....lots of little details in this one... little girl has a bicycle and a violin, son with his power drill and book, etc.

A nice and simple custom couple! They were really cute in pictures and as peg dolls.

My hand after painting. I hold the doll in my left hand and paint with my right.

So naturally, my left hand ends up being a paint palette.

I will finish my last 8 orders this week, then I won't be painting until after the holidays are over. Yay!

I am looking forward to a little break to get my life back in order and to having some real quality time with the family during this precious time of year.

My Sunday

2009-12-06T20:33:00.001-05:00

This is the first Sunday that Gabe has worked in quite some time. Since the grand opening of the new restaurant, he has worked 14-15 hours a day; leaving before nine most mornings and getting home after midnight most nights.He is running on a mixture of adrenaline and determination. Here, on the home front, I am beginning to feel like a single mom. A very fortunate single mom, who has a tall, dark and handsome sugar-daddy to pays all the bills.

We have been so graciously invited to join several good friends at their wonderful new church for Sunday services. I debate with myself about visiting. I want to be able to go. But frankly, the idea of subjecting myself to 2.5 hours of wrestling, yes, wrestling greatly, with my 18 month old and my 3 year old, alone, is just not appealing to me. Gabe and I do well together: teaching the children about sitting and listening and worshiping at church. It takes skill and teamwork. Teamwork, being the operative word here. They both do wonderfully: sweet, well behaved, quiet and attentive for about 25-30 minutes, tops.

Now, I dread the idea of dragging them out into the cold, right at Adah's naptime to try to make them sit and listen and behave and be quiet, all so I can pretend that I am listening to the teaching. When really, I can't focus on a single word that is being said because I am wrestling greatly with my sweet toddlers.

So this morning, we had church at home. The fire roared and we snuggled under a blanket in our pjs. We prayed, sang praises, and read from the bible and several children's devotionals. I taught on the birth of Jesus. It was relaxed and comfortable and precious. When the attention spans were all tapped out, we prayed a little more and had some lunch. Ahhh, peace.

After lunch we decided to brave it alone and head to The Big Crafty, Asheville's giant Indie crafts show. It was a madhouse: packed full of people and very hard to maneuver through with two children.

The primary reason I went was to cheer on my good friend Kelcey Loomer who was there selling her AMAZING art. I was so proud of her! She had an eye-poppingly gorgeous selection of original artwork, prints, ornaments and pendants. Honestly, her work was the most beautiful of anything else there today. Her goods were cut far above all of the other 99 vendors. And it seemed to be evident, not just to me, but all the people who really mattered, the people who were there to shop (unlike me). She was so busy making sales that I was only able to give her a quick hug and tell her how incredible her paintings were before she needed to get back to her customers. Kelcey has always been one of my favorite artists and very, very talented. It is just so exciting to now see her successfully selling her work all while being a full time mom to one and half children.

After the Big Crafty, we headed over to Piazza to spend a little time with Daddy and enjoy a delicious dinner. He was busy as usual, but were able to get a little face time with him.

Then home for bath, books, games, and snuggles. All in all, it was a good day. I won't lie though, I would have rather been at home with Gabe asleep on the couch, football blaring in the background. I have a feeling that he would've like that, too.

Gift Guide!!!!

2009-12-03T09:37:00.006-05:00

Etsy has gift guides where they feature different sellers' work as suggestions for gifts!

Guess What?!

My custom couple is on the front page of the Personalized Gift Guide!!

http://www.etsy.com/gift-guides/personalized-gifts/256

I just took this picture yesterday. Its really encouraging because I have been working on taking pictures that stand out. I guess this one stood out enough that I landed in a gift guide. Which, for the non-etsians out there, is a big deal!

I am learning the value of having really good photographs on etsy. I read an interesting article from a seller who makes a full time living on etsy. She said that "on etsy, your photos are your items." In other words, that's all people have to go on, so you have to make them eye catching, interesting, vivid and unique.

It takes a lot of work for me to get a half way decent photo. I am not a natural photographer. In fact, I flat out failed two classes in college, as in f-a-i-l-e-d, F's: Goddess Traditions and Photography.

I think I have an pretty good eye. So my biggest challenge is getting good, consistent lighting that shows the colors of the dolls and allows me to get them in focus without a flash, which reflects of the shellac finish. I built a little light box in an effort to address this challenge. Also, I've been experimenting with different backgrounds to help them stand out from the crowd of other peg dolls for sale on etsy.

I've had very little success, but I think I am getting closer to understanding what I need to do and what I want, though.

All of this experimenting is good but makes my shop look a little schizophrenic. The goal is to develop a standard method of photographing my peeps so that all my pics match and appear to belong together.

I think I am coming up against the limitations of my cheap, old digital camera and my knowledge. I admit I've been day dreaming about one of these. ( Ha! Maybe after a few hundred more dolls:)

And maybe I should have made a little more effort in my photog course. Or a lot.

Scenes...

2009-12-02T18:46:00.004-05:00

I've received several new orders for my dolls lately. I am officially making a profit! I keep setting deadlines and limits for what I can accomplish before Christmas and realizing that, no wait, I CAN take another order; I can do it, I'll get it done in time. At some point there has to be a limit to the orders I can finish before 25th. But for now, I am pushing that limit. I hate to miss any opportunity to make a sale right now:)

Oh, and my shop was mentioned in a children's toys feature this week on http://theamberlily.com/. ( really exciting!)

In order to get them all done, I am working during the day, too. I have always painted at night after the children go to bed. Now I set up at the kitchen table right after breakfast with coffee, computer tuned to Pandora, paint, dolls, and camera.

Meanwhile, something has to give:

at least its folded....

The children still manage to entertain themselves.

Elijah wishing he could climb inside the light box to take picture with the peeps.

she keeps me laughing

Another Hat

2009-11-19T21:02:00.001-05:00

I am really tired of looking at the balloons. But life has been a bit too overwhelming to blog lately.

Gabe started his new job about 2 weeks ago. He works from 9-9 most days and has only had one day off since he started. So, its just me, the kids and the little wooden people. It has been going much better than I expected. For the most part, there has been realitive peace about the whole situation. We miss him, of course. I am learning to adjust to not having a break when Daddy gets home at 5pm. The children are adjusting, too. We go up to the restaurant to visit him once every day. Even Adah knows the place now and starts chanting "Daaa-deeee, Daaa-dee" when we pull into the parking lot.

Meanwhile, Elijah insisted that I knit a hat for him since I made Adah one. Well, of course! We took a hilarious trip to the craft store where, after much deliberation, he choose the yarn for the hat. He requested that it have a ball on top and that it be "a crazy hat". I could manage the ball, but the crazy, well, I didn't know what to do with that. I told him he would have to bring the crazy to the hat.

Knitting for Elijah is much more rewarding than knitting for Adah. He's said many times, "You made this hat for meeee?! Thaaaank yoooou!" And he wears it all day long.

Awwww.... thank you, buddy, thank you.

Hot Air Balloon Festival

2009-11-08T20:16:00.004-05:00

Every year, the small city where my parents live, Anderson, SC, hosts a hot air balloon festival. Elijah and I experienced it last year and were so excited to see it again this year.

It is such an amazing sight to see so many hot air balloons inflate and take flight at once. There were 25 at this year's event. The children loved the breathtaking spectacle of colors: each balloon brightly and uniquely patterned; and of sounds: the roar of the fire as it fills the balloons, the cheers from the onlooking crowds as they take flight. Each part of the event is so neat to witness- the balloons slowly fill, and growing into massive rainbow orbs, gradually swelling off the ground, until the balloon handlers have to wrestle to keep it on the Earth for a few last moments until at last it is released, giddy (I imagine) passengers aboard, hover low initially, sometimes passing just overhead, then quickly climb into the sky and float away!

This is a bit picture heavy... I couldn't help myself:)

My First Paid Order

2009-11-03T18:41:00.003-05:00

I am so happy to report that I am having a bit of success at selling my silly little painted people.

A friend who saw pics on of them on facebook ordered 36 dolls to match her entire family! And I just took another order for a custom family from someone who found me on etsy! Yippee!

Its not a flood of work, but it is a beginning and certainly enough to give me confidence to go on.

My first customers have not given my pictures to work with, just a few descriptive phrases, so there is a lot of guesswork involved and I hope that I've done well for them.

Here are some pictures of the first of the customs:

S plays golf

P plays guitar, CS loves cooking, C love bikes and horse, L likes bugs.

the two cooks:

B. the hunter and S. likes to read

R. loved motorcycles and M. (all I got for her was: brown, olive, cactus- so this what I did)

A New Hat for Adah

2009-10-31T10:48:00.005-04:00

The hats I made for Adah last winter (here and here) have long since been outgrown. The baby can't have a cold head, can she? So, I set to work on making her a new hat. My requirements for this hat were that it be:
1. simple- I have very little free time for knitting
2. free- had to be made from yarn I already have stashed away
3. big enough that she won't outgrow it in a month's time.

I achieved all my goals with this extremely simple rolled brim cap. I crocheted a flower and attached it with a cute little button to dress it up. I also added a pair of crocheted straps in an attempt to keep it on her head. But, no such luck. I might as well give this hat to some other child who will use it, because I doubt Adah will ever wear it.

I managed to snap a couple of quick pics before she yanked it off and tossed it to the floor with disgust.

Will somebody please tell the child that this hat was made with love by her mommy using vintage Morino wool and its cute and really practical?

Photo Update: Really Great Park and New People

2009-10-24T19:15:00.003-04:00

So Silly...

2009-10-21T18:32:00.002-04:00

Sometime around the age of two, children the world over, begin demanding of their caregivers to, "Watch this!" It might be a wiggly little dance, it could be a somersault, it could be tossing a plate full of food like a frisbee. You just never know what your gonna get.

Today, I was beckoned with, "Mommy, quick! Come take pictures of me!" Which is in the same family as "Watch this!", just with more confidence.

Here's what we got:
(please ignore the mess, its not my fault)

Craft Time

2009-10-13T12:36:00.010-04:00

Elijah asked if he could make a mask today. Of course, I am always ready and willing to pull out the craft supplies for my little man, all three (overflowing) drawers full.

He knew what he wanted, but he needed some help making it happen. He wanted feathers, I found a way and helped to attach them. The same for the "monster curls" at the bottom. The rest was the work of his hands.

While we worked on the mask, Adah found a sunny spot on the floor to eat a snack and work on some easy Spanish crossword puzzles.

It turned out awesome, if I do say so myself.

After appraising his handiwork in the mirror,

he declares, "I am a dragon."

Then he chased us around the house.
We screamed like girls, because, we are girls.

Its 1:00 pm now, they are napping. I am still in my pink pajamas, blogging.
I am trying to decide if it has been a productive day or not.
Hmmmm....yes, I think so.

2009-10-12T19:33:00.003-04:00

Lots and lots of little wooden people arrived on my doorstep today. I opened the box and my stomach sank; I began to feel a little queasy.

I've had encouragement from admiring friends and family to sell these dolls ever since I painted them for my nieces last Christmas. I admit that I haven't jumped at the idea. I didn't really enjoy painting the dolls.

But, Gabe and I did the math and each little doll cost $0.05-$0.50. They sell for $5-$25 a piece online. It seemed like for such a small investment in money, though a rather large investment in time, it was worth a shot.

I applied for a big upcoming craft show here in Asheville. I have not heard anything yet about that, so for now I will be painting these to sell online. The hope is that these will supplement our rather tight income with a little babysitter, date night, Christmas shopping, fun money. We'll see!

I guess I better get started.... there are 200 0r s0 of those *%!@!#%@ dolls waiting for me.

My Dream Last Night: Part 2

2009-10-03T19:20:00.002-04:00

So onto to the meaning of this dream....

First off, this is just my worldly take on it, my woman's intuition. Its just a dream and it probably means nothing at all. You know when you first wake up and you are still kind of "in the dream"; and how sometimes your first impressions of what and why you dreamed are still sort of hanging out in dream world, too. It was on those first impressions that I base this interpretation:

To me, the baby represents something newly created or some new creative venture.... something beautiful.... or maybe just my inner creative desire. And it is READY to be born.

And if I would just stop for one minute to let it be born, just let it come out, it would happen so easily, so quickly, so painlessly.

But, I am busy being busy. Walking about the house is the business of life, of keeping house and children. Also, it is a deliberate busy-ness, a chosen distraction, an excuse of why I can't stop and birth this baby.

In the dream I put off having the baby until a "better" time. I don't feel ready.
At some point, ready or not, its going to happen and I won't be able to stop it. And when it does, I am going to be surprised by the peacefulness of it....so surprised that I might mistake my creative venture as being dead or not going anywhere. However, I will breathe life into it and it will bring me great joy and contentment.

Now for the last part about my mother in law cutting the umbilical cord. Well, I've had think about that. This part didn't come to me in the moments after the dream. I have been dwelling on it and have conjured up a possibility.

First, I am not sure that my MIL, personally, has anything to do with it. I have great respect and admiration for MIL. She is a truly inspirational woman who I look to for guidance in many areas of life, both spiritual and practical. I think she might just be symbolic of a maternal or spiritual elder, someone who will guide me and give me advice about how to help the give the baby its own life.

And, I think the cutting of the umbilical cord represents, just as it does in real life, making the child self sustaining, not relying on the mother's biological resources to live. In other words, although I will be caring for "my baby", it will be able to grow and live on it's on strength.

Hey, I really don't know exactly what all it means it, but its fun to imagine!
Thanks for "listening".

My Dream Last Night

2009-10-03T10:58:00.007-04:00

Totally off topic.... last night I dreamed that I gave birth to a baby girl. This dream was very vivid and detailed and felt significant. (I think it has been a while since I slept long enough or deep enough to dream. I used to have very vivid dreams every night.) I feel an urge to write about it, but first.....

**On the unlikely chance that there might be a male reader amongst my 3 or 4 readers, or for anyone who might not be up for this, be warned: I am going to use a bit of possibly graphic child birthing imagery while describing my dream. **

My first memory of this dream is standing at my kitchen sink with Gabe. I tell him that I've just realized I am in the process of giving birth to a baby. I tell him I had no idea I was pregnant, however, every time I stand still the baby begins to "come out". And I feel this happening as I am standing to tell him this. I don't look or feel pregnant, but I am having that very distinct sensation of a baby actually being born, not the labor pains but just the final culmination where at last, the baby appears from the womb. Its not painful, but just that unique feeling of a baby crowning, mothers everywhere will know what I mean.

I decide to walk because when I walk this birth process is stopped, the baby disappears back inside of me. When I walk I can carry on as if everything is normal and stop this thing from happening.

(Gosh, this is so graphic and personal, why I am sharing this? I guess because of the symbolism that I have placed on this dream, which I will get to in a minute. Feel free to stop reading and let me process the dream in the private, if you like.)

Now, I am walking in my house, back and forth and all is well. Evidently, I am not ready to have this baby. There is no anxiety about it, just a sense of, "I am going to hold this off as long as I can."

As it only happens in dreams, suddenly my mother-in-law and sister-in-law are standing in my hallway. I stop to explain to them that I am having a baby, but as long as I keep moving the birthing process stops and that's why I am walking around the house.

In the split second in which I stop to talk them, the baby is now sliding out and this time it can't be stopped. I reach "down there" and I can feel the child's head pushing out. Again, there is no pain, just that one-of-a-kind feeling of a baby being born. It all happens very quickly and just like that I am holding the child in my arms.

The baby is a girl with a shock of black hair, eyes closed sweetly and a smile on her face. She is not crying, but rather, totally silent; really quite shocking in her silence and stillness. I wonder if she is alive and place my mouth on hers, breathe a breath into her lungs and her eyes open. Now she is looking right at me, right into my eyes, smiling, completely still and silent. Her smile feels, to me, to be one of total contentment and joy. I look at her with a odd wonderment and think to myself, "Is she okay? She's not moving or making a sound, but look at that smile.... she must be okay."

I am still squatting my hallway holding my slippery newborn. I call to my mother-in-law who has left the room to take a phone call. She is chatting casually on her cell phone and I call out to her to ask if she can help me cut the umbilical cord which is still pulsing blood from me to the baby. She says she'll be there in a minute.

End of dream.

I think I'll get to my feelings of what this all means later.

30 Days of Happiness :: Day 14

2009-09-30T19:18:00.010-04:00

Go to the ant, you sluggard!

Consider her ways and be wise,
Which, having no captain,
Overseer or ruler,
Provides her supplies in the summer,
And gathers her food in the harvest.

Proverbs 6:6-8

I kept thinking about these verses as Gabe and I stacked firewood today.

After a mini- tornado whipped down our street in the spring of this year, trees were down for blocks around. Knowing a wood stove is our main source of heat, a kind neighbor gave us two dump trucks full of wood; a pile of trees taller than Gabe, dumped right in our front yard. The massive work of making trees, 3 feet in diameter, fit in a wood stove has, of course, and, as always, fallen to Gabe. Needless to say, we have tremendous amount of wood for this winter. It is great to say that we feel really prepared for what is predicted to be a long, cold winter.

Today, I helped Gabe stack the cut wood. The wood, cut and uncut, is piled high, high on the north side of our house. It is a dank, damp, musty world over there where WAAAAAAYYYY too many slugs, spiders, pill bugs and earthworms for my taste. Also: slime, mold, muck and guck. But, you know what? Anything for my man, anything for my man. I stuck my hands into the yuck and I got up close and personal with some slugs.

What has been cut and stacked is about 2.5, maybe 3 cords. We still have at least that much, probably more yet to be cut.

A small portion of what still needs to but cut.

Oh yeah, there was this guy, too.

30 Days of Happiness :: Day 13

2009-09-28T21:10:00.003-04:00

I have waited to write about this little bit of joy. I wanted to make sure it was going to stick before I got too excited about it.

I moved Adah into Elijah's room and it has been such a major blessing!!

We are all tormented by her sleepless nights. For months, she woke around midnight and would be completely unable to settle back down for 3, 4 sometimes, 5 hours. She would fuss and fuss, I would try everything under the sun to help her fall back asleep. Nothing worked. She would finally collapse from exhaustion after hours of misery. Only to pop back up promptly at 6:30 or 7 am. Torturous.

I was a wreck. After one particularly grueling night I determined we had to move her out of our room. After trying everything else, I wondered if it was me that was keeping her awake. Was my mere presence was causing her to want to be awake?

Whatever it was, I don't know... but THANK GOD, it worked! The first night I moved her in there and every night since has been bliss. She is sleeping through the night: no tears, no drama. Just sleep. For everyone. She was probably just as exhausted as we were. I don't know why I waited so long to do it. Huge Happiness! Besides the joys of sleeping well, I can read in bed at night again and Gabe and I really appreciate the privacy, too. All good stuff.

30 Days of Happiness :: Day 12

2009-09-23T22:20:00.004-04:00

Today, I was able to help Gabe with work around the house.

Typically, I am unable to help because I am tending to the children and most of the work he does is so far out of my league that I would be more hindrance than help.

Today, however, Adah napped at just the right time; I put on some old clothes and got my hands dirty. I mowed the lawn and painted many boards that will be used for window trim. What I did was minor compared with what he did and does on any given day off work. Nonetheless, I was happy to be able to help at all: to, in any way, lighten his load; to help his day go more smoothly; to spend time with him; to be able to marvel, first hand, at all he accomplishes.

We are so close to being finished with the renovations on our house. We bought this house from an investor who bought it as a foreclosure. When we moved in, it was truly gross. Now, by the sweat of Gabe's brow, our house is actually quite cute. There are days, weeks even, when Gabe is ready to put a match to our foundation, walk away and never look back. I don't blame him. This is hard, frustrating, expensive work. And it is all hanging on a prayer that it will pay off for us. It is especially hard on both of us that every nail driven, every brush stroke, every success and failure rests on Gabe shoulders. He works 40+ hours a week, all the renovation work is done in time off.

Sigh. I will be really, really happy when it's all done. We've been at it for 3 years.

Anyways.....

For me, today, happiness is making Gabe happy.

*We are fresh out batteries for our camera so, I have no pictures to share.*

30 Days of Happiness :: Day 11

2009-09-21T18:55:00.005-04:00

Elijah's growing up. This is a bittersweet happiness.

30 Days of Happiness :: Day 10

2009-09-20T20:09:00.005-04:00

(she had something to do with it)

Happiness is finally locating the source of the stench in Elijah's room.

(Let's hear it for little victories, folks.)

30 Days of Happiness :: Day 9

2009-09-14T12:11:00.020-04:00

Happiness is prayers answered!

Then He said to His disciples, “Therefore I say to you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat; nor about the body, what you will put on. Life is more than food, and the body is more than clothing. Consider the ravens, for they neither sow nor reap, which have neither storehouse nor barn; and God feeds them. Consider the lilies, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin; and yet I say to you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. If then God so clothes the grass, which today is in the field and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, how much more will He clothe you, O you of little faith?
Luke 12: 22-24, 27- 28

I have been in desperate need of clothes. I am often embarrassed by my ill-fitting, stained, holey, hand-me-down clothes. Occasions like weddings, parties, and even church leave me feeling a depressed and anxious as I rummage through my ragtag wardrobe searching for something appropriate and mildly flattering to wear.

There is no money in the budget for new clothes and even if there was, I hate shopping and being able to buy one new shirt, though nice, isn't going to solve the overall lack of suitable clothes. Furthermore, given the extreme state of need many people the world over suffer through, it feels shallow and selfish to even complain about what I have.

That said, the Lord knows my needs and I have been patiently stalking the Asheville Freecycle for several months now with the peace that God would provide for me through this website. I've seen many offers for women's clothes come and go. Our freecycle is quite active and if you don't catch the post within minutes or seconds of it being posted, you can be sure someone else has already responded with a request for the item offered. I've been disappointed a few times, having really thought that I might get a bag of clothes offered.

Last night the Lord answered my needs, Mightily!! He is SO GOOD! I saw a post offering women's clothes and I made my request to the offerer. When I got the call that I had been chosen, I was genuinely shocked. It is sort of like winning the lottery where you have no idea if what you won is actually of any value. The man told me that these clothes were his adult daughter's that she'd outgrown and he had---- wait for it, wait for it...... 6! Yes, 6! garbage bags full if I wanted them!

I picked them up this morning and I am floored with gratitude. These clothes are clean, in great condition and fairly stylish. They are all in my size!! My size! Wow! I have grown accustomed to wearing too big or too small since the babies came along. The clothes are mostly business casual and dressier than I normally wear on a daily basis and not necessarily my style. (Though, I have to say, I abandoned "my style" years ago in favor of whatever mostly free clothes I could gain. I will wear just about anything and make it work.) I guess I will be dressing a little bit fancier from now on :) It will be nice after a summer of wearing 3 hand me down t-shirts and 3 pairs of shorts 3 sizes too big.

Here is the count of what I given today (basically a whole wardrobe):

19 dressy shirts
16 sweaters and cardigans
15 casual shirts
15 pairs of slacks
7 pairs of jeans
9 pajama type clothes
4 dresses
1 skirt

Can you believe it? I know they are just clothes, but to me, they are more than that, they are the loving provision of my Father in heaven.

“Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find;knock, and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and he who seeks finds,and to him who knocks it will be opened. Or what man is there among you who, if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will he give him a serpent? If you then, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heavengive good things to those who ask Him!"
Matthew 7:7- 11

30 Days of Happiness :: Day 8

2009-09-13T21:27:00.002-04:00

Okay, so after a week (really more like two weeks) of participating in the 30 days of Happiness project, I have come to realize that my main source of happiness is my family. Nothing wrong with that! I am a stay at home mom; my family are not just my loved ones, my housemates, my best friends, but they are also my job.

I am happy that I have them; they do bring me so much joy. But, seeing that they are the only consistent source of daily happiness for me, I do feel inspired to look for other sources of happiness. Art? Exercise? Friendships?

For today, however.... Oh! it was so cute and made so happy to see my men yukking it up on the couch before bed. Something about seeing Gabe's head in Elijah's lap rather than the other way was so precious to me. Elijah was enjoying the opportunity to tickle Daddy, a favorite game. My son's laughter makes me happy.

30 Days of Happiness :: Day 7

2009-09-12T21:32:00.003-04:00

The children and I have been out of town for the last few days while Gabe worked on our house. Happiness is coming home again... seeing Gabe and seeing the beautiful work of his hands. This photo is for my family ( my mom, dad, sister and brother-in-law) who asked to see a picture of the work Gabe completed while the kids and I stayed with them. For those of you who have never been to our house, the floors are new and they look fantastic!

30 Days of Happiness :: Day 5

2009-09-07T20:43:00.006-04:00

Happiest moment of the day.... when Daddy comes home.

30 Days of Happiness :: Day 4

2009-09-04T19:36:00.004-04:00

It makes me happy that Adah is trying to walk. She took her first unassisted steps a month ago and she is still mostly crawling. She is almost 14 months old and I am sure that one day soon she really will get up and go. Meanwhile, it is been a lot of these kind of moments, full of cheers and smiles. And this clip makes me laugh ( and Adah, too) because Elijah is imitating her distinctive crawl. This was the first time I'd ever seen him do this. Sorry for the quality-- I accidentally had the camera set on night vision.

30 Days of Happiness :: Day 3

2009-09-03T18:06:00.002-04:00

When Adah woke up this morning, I wasn't quite ready to get out of bed. So, after nursing and cuddling for a bit, I set her down on the floor and let her play in our bedroom while I lightly dozed for a few more minutes. I could her hear her open and closing drawers and shuffling around the room. I knew she was making a mess, but being extra lazy, I didn't care. After a few minutes she came back to the bedside and patted me to wake up. I rolled over to see her grinning wildly all decked out in this funny little get up. She really thought she was something! I could tell that she got a kick out of it and so did I.

For those you counting... its two Christmas ribbons, a bra and a pacifier hanging off of her.

30 Days of Happiness :: Day 2

2009-09-01T18:56:00.004-04:00

Just lovin' this weather! This is actually tomorrow's forecast, but today was much the same. It feels like the beginning of fall. It's not quite time for such weather, I mean this is the Southeast:). I am sure Summer still has a bit more to share with us. Still, it's a lovely little preview of cooler days to come. Who can complain about a lovely, balmy, slightly breezy, sunny, fresh-aired day such as today?

30 Days of Happiness :: Day 1

2009-08-31T12:18:00.012-04:00

Fellow bloggers and friends, Caren at Bottomland and Kelcey at SweetMess have chosen to notice and record happiness in their daily lives for thirty days.

While enjoying their efforts, I thought, quite grimly, that I could never do this; thinking I could not find daily "happiness" for thirty straight days.

This is a terrible thought, truthful, but terrible and not the person I want to be!

Surely, surely, I am not so un- happy that I can't find one bit of joy to share daily? Reflecting on recent day's events, I searched for the happy moment that I would share if I took this challenge... and lo and behold! I am unhappy!

I would not say that I am depressed or that my life is so terrible in anyway. Neither would I say that it is filled to overflowing with happy, joyous moments. Lately, I guess I do feel stymied and stifled; discontented and frustrated most of the time.

As I said, this is not the person that I want to be nor, indeed, as follower of Christ, should be. I would like to change my perspective, quit staring down the mountains of worries and turn back towards the goodness that permeates my life by way of simply being alive, clothed, fed and sheltered. Isn't that enough to be happy about?

(Now godliness with contentment is great gain. For we brought nothing into this world, and it is certain we can carry nothing out. And having food and clothing, with these we shall be content. ~ 1 tim. 6:6-8)

It is because I could use a bit of eye-opening about the happiness that my daily life contains, that I am going to participate in 30 Days of Happiness, too.

Day One: Starting small and obvious....

Grocery Shopping Complete!

This DOES make me happy!
The work of shopping with little ones is done,
the fridge is full,
and meals for my family are assured,
for at least another week.

Craggy Gardens

2009-08-16T19:27:00.006-04:00

Late Summer brings another reason to step out into the beautiful mountains that surround us here in Western North Carolina and explore. A delicious reason: wild blueberries are in season! Who can resist their siren call?

Today we traveled up to Craggy Gardens: one of many, many places to pick the juicy beauties along the Blue Ridge Parkway. Craggy is a very popular spot in season, a bit too popular for our taste, but we choose Craggy because of the relative ease of the hiking.

The hike to the summit of Craggy Pinnacle and back is about 1.5 miles with a plethora of blueberry bushes just off the trail. Not to mention the stunning panoramic views at the summit. We wanted Elijah to have the satisfaction of making it to the top and back all on his own two feet and he did!

The temperature is about 10 degrees cooler up there and since it was a partially cloudy day we had the lovely experience of seeing and feeling the clouds, literally, surround us on the summit. So refreshing!

With the constant renovations, sometimes we forget to take time to step away from the work and enjoy God's Creation together as a family. I am so glad that we did just that today.

2009-08-15T22:15:00.000-04:00

A little vent.

2009-07-30T19:34:00.008-04:00

I would love to regale you with some witty or charming story concerning our ever-so fabulous and blog-able lives.

I wish I could display an intricate and compelling bit of art or craft for your viewing pleasure. Oh, and pass it off with an, "Aww, shucks! I just whipped that up in my spare time because I live my life that way: all effortlessly creative and productive every darn moment of the day. What, don't you?".

I wish I had some perfectly un-posed pictures shot from an uncanny angle to demonstrate just how naturally cool and unconventional we are here at Blessed Lessons, in real life.

Alas, my blogging spirit has run dry of late.

I've been trolling the internet too much lately, looking for inspiration for E.'s 3rd birthday party. And I'm stuffed uncomfortably-full with the overly present, wonder-mom bloggers: the amazingly inventive, always positive, organic and wholesome, creative moms who seem to rule the blogosphere; whose efforts to portray an effortlessly, fabulous life leave me with a saccharin taste and my mouth and the feeling that all I do... isn't enough.

Because, truth be told, these wonder-mom types have become to my mothering self-esteem what the fashion magazines are stereotyped for doing to our collective body images... putting up a false front that no one can really sustain day in and out. Ick. Enough, okay?

I try to take these blogs with a grain of salt and remind myself that they are meant to showcase the best of the best. Not the wet beds, the whining and rudeness, the teething, the exhaustion, the late bills, the blow ups and melt downs that mar one's bloggy image. Because one cannot be expected to compete with such mom-errific perfection... I tried, I can't.

I need a bottle of brain bleach and a major dose of self-love for all of my feeble attempts to craft a lovely life, a "in real life", life. I need to forget what all these other moms are doing and be proud of what I'm doing. Yep!

At any rate, I just wanted to pop in and say "hi" to my five faithful readers. Sorry for the rant; don't hold it against me, okay?

Adah's first word

2009-07-12T23:42:00.007-04:00

For some time now, we've tried to determine if Adah was saying "Dada" referring to Gabe, her Daddy. She babbles "dadada" quite a lot and sometimes it really seems that she is referring to Gabe. Still, I am only 75% sure that she is referring to him and that she knows him as Dada.

However, last week she responded, out of the blue, to one of my many "Hi Adahs", with a perfectly breathy and sweet little "Hiiiiii". Of course, I initially thought it was a funny coincidence. But now, after more than a week of hearing her say "Hiiiii" to each of us when she wakes up in the morning (over and over again), and when Gabe gets home from work and to strangers in the store; I am sure that she is really saying "Hi". She says it at all the appropriate times and even sometimes adds a little wave, which you can see in the following video. I consider this to be Adah's first official word:

By the way, it is just so completely fitting that her first word is "hi". Not to be too stereotypical of gender roles, but she is such a social and interactive little girl who loves to smile and talk to anyone who will smile and talk back. Elijah's first words came simultaneously, "dog" and "ball", and that totally fits his all-boy personality.

Been a little busy...

2009-07-07T19:23:00.004-04:00

enjoying summer with my family. Plus, I've got that job now. There hasn't been a lot of time for blogging. Hope you are enjoying your summer, too!

Happy Father's Day

2009-06-20T19:14:00.004-04:00

Happy Father's Day to all the Dads out there, especially my own-- Dad, I love you! And of course, to my own sweet Gabe-r, Daddy, WE LOVE YOU SO MUCH!

Meet Pepper...

2009-06-17T18:56:00.019-04:00

We adopted a kitten. I don't know what we are thinking! It's a terrible way to start off a new pet relationship... wondering why you got the critter. But, really, do I need more to do? I am not the biggest pet person, honestly. I am sucker for helpless creatures, though. Darn that maternal instinct!

Enough of the doubt.. the kids love the little guy. They both are crazy about him, giggling and jockeying to play with him. They are gentle and kind to him, with supervision.

He's a sweet little fuzzball, very relaxed and affectionate. He loves to be held and is not afraid of the children.

Unfortunately, Liberty, our lab, eyes Pepper like a furry little snack strutting around the place. So,um, we need to work on that.

I find it hilarious that Adah and Pepper are amused by the same toys. They both get a tremendous kick out of a feather on a string, shiny little poof balls and anything that jingles or rattles :).

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

In other news, I had a professional resume writer create a really great resume for me. The resume makes me look far more qualified than I feel, without being untrue or misleading. That's a good resume, right? Funny thing is...before I even had a chance to use it, I landed a job! More on that later...

*For those of you wondering, I have no intentions of abandoning my family. I will be telecommuting for the job and only after my day with the children is done.:)

Resume?

2009-06-12T18:36:00.002-04:00

I have struggled for years to string my odd jobs and stumbled- upon skill sets into a cohesive one-page, sleek, organized format--i.e., the all important resume.

Tonight, I sit with cheerful and encouraging How to Write a Resume type books, fresh from the library, opened all around me. Computer screen open, mind open, ready to take this minor, little step into "official adulthood". Instead of getting started, however, here I am on Blessed Lessons, dodging the bullet for a few more minutes.

Why is this so hard for me? Anybody out there want to help me get this done? Who out there is a resume genius? I need you now.

Anniversary

2009-06-10T22:33:00.000-04:00

Gabe and I celebrate our 4th wedding anniversary today, June 11th.

We stand today, thick in child-rearing and home-building. Not a man and a woman. A man, a woman, a boy and a girl. Four years and a family.
Our marriage is young, already we are strained. We come together in worship once a week.
We speak His name daily. But, we do not pray as we should, nor repent and ask for forgiveness as we should, from each other or from God. We do not seek God, rely upon and lean on Him the way we should. We each struggle, over-burdened, trying to shoulder our load alone, so as not to lay more upon the other. It is not easy and our marriage is young.

Sometimes, it feels as if our relationship is ruled by and exists solely for providing for and protecting the boy and the girl. Who are we apart from the little people who come between us and always before us? Who are we when we are not climbed upon, clamored over? When we do not have to beg the boy to let us speak, or pry the girl from my breast, when we are just Gabe and Liz.

(And obviously, we love the boy and the girl more than words can tell and do not for a minute wish that they would grow and leave us any faster than they already are. No, not for one minute. We savor them.)

But, I do look with wonder towards the days when Gabe and I will have the space and the freedom to explore again who we are, not as Mommy/Daddy, but as man and woman.

I love and am in-love with Gabe. He is my man, my good husband, father of my children, provider, protector, friend and lover. The desire of my heart is to always honor what we vowed to protect and preserve: our love, our unity. I want our marriage to last, to outlast. To outlast the sleeplessness nights, the years of building-- career, family, home. To outlast the doubts and the fears, the pettiness and pet peeves. If we promise to maintain for the sake of the children only...

What will be on the other side of child raising? When the young ones are grown and gone... will we have built a solid love, proven and tested, ready for anything? Or will we be left, two people, lonely, together for the sake of pretense, bitter and angry? What can we do now to promise that we will be solid, stronger, even more in love when it is just 'Gabe and Liz', a man and a woman, again?

I wonder these things as we celebrate what feels like the fastest, most meaningful and fulfilling and yes, challenging, 4 years of my life.

I end this rambler with the poem The Man Moves Earth by Cathy Song:

The man moves earth
to dispel grief.
He digs holes
the size of cars.
In proportion to what is taken
what is given multiplies—
rain-swollen ponds
and dirt mounds
rooted with flame-tipped flowers.
He carries trees like children
struggling to be set down.
Trees that have lived
out their lives,
he cuts and stacks
like loaves of bread
which he will feed the fire.
The green smoke sweetens
his house.

The woman sweeps air
to banish sadness.
She dusts floors,
polishes objects
made of clay and wood.
In proportion to what is taken
what is given multiplies—
the task of something
else to clean.
Gleaming appliances
beg to be smudged,
breathed upon by small children
and large animals
flicking out hope
as she whirls by,
flap of tongue,
scratch of paw,
sweetly reminding her.

The man moves earth,
the woman sweeps air.
Together they pull water
out of the other,
pull with the muscular
ache of the living,
hauling from the deep
well of the body
the rain-swollen,
the flame-tipped,
the milk-fed—
all that cycles
through lives moving,
lives sweeping, water
circulating between them
like breath,
drawn out of leaves by light.

Postcard: Day 6

2009-06-06T22:00:00.000-04:00

Our last evening here, sunset in the west and moonrise in the east

Postcard: Day 5

2009-06-05T22:57:00.000-04:00

more kite flying and the amusement park

Postcard: Day 4

2009-06-04T21:44:00.001-04:00

the storm clears and a visit to the marina

Postcard: Day 3

2009-06-03T22:33:00.001-04:00

Cheesy, kid-friendly tourist trap

Postcard: Day 2

2009-06-02T21:19:00.000-04:00

Evening walk and kite flying

Postcard: Day 1

2009-06-01T21:38:00.000-04:00

Video Update

2009-05-26T21:33:00.000-04:00

Tonight, I am posting two videos that relate to recent concerns of mine. I mentioned in my "I want to tell you" post that I was concerned that Adah was not crawling and that Elijah and I were struggling with respect and boundaries. This first video is of Adah crawling, yay, finally! You'll notice she is watching out for her brother, smart girl. He is shooting hoops, I don't think he ever got any in the goal but he hit the camera with the basketball.

The second is of Elijah reciting his first bible memory verse! It is Ephesians 6:1 ~ "Children obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right", in case you can't quite make it out.

He was so excited to learn it and loves to say it. Since learning it we have witnessed an amazing turn around in his attitude and behavior. It is absolutely true what God says in Isaiah 55:10-11:

“ For as the rain comes down, and the snow from heaven,
And do not return there,
But water the earth,
And make it bring forth and bud,
That it may give seed to the sower
And bread to the eater,
So shall My word be that goes forth from My mouth;
It shall not return to Me void,
But it shall accomplish what I please,
And it shall prosper in the thing for which I sent it."

Progress

2009-05-21T20:33:00.000-04:00

The renovations continue. We are still living in a disheveled state. BUT! Progress is being made and here is the proof:

What a gift a from God to be moving from that to this.... we are still not done, but here is where are now...

Isn't Gabe doing a great job?

Dedication

2009-05-21T19:42:00.000-04:00

( Somehow no pictures with the children facing forward.)

We had a baby dedication at our church this past Sunday. We asked to dedicate both Elijah and Adah. Here is what we promised in brief:

For Elijah Gabriel, our first born child and son, your name means My God is the Lord/ God is my might, may this be true for your whole life.

For Adah Lucia, our second born child, first daughter, your name means Adornment/ Light, may you be an Adorning Light.

We as your parents promise to:

Learn how to BE with Jesus, to make Him first in our life.
Protect our Covenant love for each other (our marriage).
Pray for you and your relationship to Jesus.
Nurture you in the Kingdom of God.
Disciple your self will asking your Heavenly Father for wisdom.
Seek God, even when life is full and complicated.
Ask your forgiveness when we make a mistake.
Forgive you when you make a mistake.
Lead you by example.
Persevere in our walk with God.

Each of these points was fleshed out and brought to life for us as we stood before our church family. The dedication was much more about Gabe and myself than E. and A. The focus was on our responsibility to God for their sakes.

It was sobering, authentic and already fruit is growing on the vines of those promises.

I want to tell you...

2009-05-04T22:00:00.000-04:00

...about how our renovations are progressing; how one project wickedly mutated into 10.

...about our upcoming vacation and how we were given $2000 with specific instructions to use the money only for a vacation!

...about the tornado (yes, true) that ripped through our neighborhood and down our street last night, leaving a path of destruction steps from and completely not including our house. Thankfully, all of our neighbors are safe, but many suffered property damage.

...about Gabe's oral surgery tomorrow.

...and while speaking of Gabe, I want tell you how he conquered work that needed weeks to be accomplished in only days, living in a construction zone; our house devoid of all modern comfort.

....and how his truck died last week during renovations, leaving him to walk to work everyday (since we were out of town). His days while we were gone: Wake in construction zone, walk to work, work, walk home, work on the house to the wee hours, sleep in construction zone, repeat.

...also how E. has started hitting me; how we have been so at odds lately, like two people who hardly know how to be together and how sad this makes me; how I know that it is my fault but I don't know how to fix it; about how deeply I long to heal our relationship and fix what has been broken somehow, somewhere.

...how A. is still not crawling (she is almost 10 months old now) and I am beginning to worry. And about the guilty truth that I like that she doesn't crawl because it makes her my baby in my arms for a little longer.

...how I might be depressed, or maybe just tired and overwhelmed.

...about my decision to be fit again; that I will begin with a complete overhaul of my body and mind...how being out of shape, overweight, lazy and gluttonous not only encourages the worst in myself but also mocks God--Or do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and you are not your own? For you were bought at a price; therefore glorify God in your body and your spirit which are God's. -1 Cor 6:19-20

...how our kitchen and bathroom cabinets ( rather old and rotten) were ruined during our renovations last week; how we have 0$ to spend on new ones.

...and, lastly, how we were given a complete set of kitchen cabinets and a bathroom vanity from a perfect stranger yesterday because the Holy Spirit told him to (his words).

I want to tell you all of these things and more. I want to go into detail and share all this with you as if we were girlfriends sipping coffee, in a quiet cafe, having the mom's night out that I so desperately crave right now. Sigh. Maybe one day. But not tonight and probably not for a while. Life is upside down and I am hanging tight on trying not to fall off until it rights itself.

But the Lord is good. And He is good to us.

Every good and perfect gift is from above, and comes down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shadow of turning.
James 1:17

Renovations!

2009-04-18T13:30:00.000-04:00

Oh boy. What an ordeal. Boxes piled high with every little thing, furniture askew and missing. Panicked over time constraints and wondering how it's all going to work out, we are preparing for major renovations at our humble home.

Spices, books, movies, pots and pans, photos, food all are tossed into boxes and then heavily sighed over. Everything, really, just about everything in our house, will eventually make its way into the storage unit, a giant box, parked in our driveway.

Thanks to the proximity of the move, nothing is being truly "packed" or organized, just hastily gathered and shuffled into the giant box in the yard. I am no fan of disorder, even with two youngsters, I manage to keep our house fairly tidy. I like it that way. I don't like it this way...

Once everything is settled into the big box beyond our walls, Gabe has the monster task of ripping out said walls, plus the ceilings, cabinets, sinks and appliances; stripping the house down to the studs. Yuk.

All for good. All for good. Say it with me...."It's all for good and worth it. It will be over soon."

Once he's done, the drywallers will arrive, and soon we will have fresh new ceilings and walls.

YAY!!! Those of you who have visited my house know how badly we need this. I'll post one "before" pic now, just to give you an idea of why we are so excited (excluding present conditions) for this work to be done. I'll save the rest for a grand before and after post in a week or two when it is all finished.

Originally, the plan, when we bought this house, was for Gabe to do all of the renovations. He has completely renovated Elijah's room and partly finished two others, and has done a great deal of work on the exterior of the house, as well.

As a major gift to him and to all us, we chose, with gratitude, to use part of our tax returns to hire pros who will knock this job out in a week's time.

This is the last of the major overhauls for our house. We still have lots and lots of smaller projects left to tackle. All of which will feel worlds more manageable when this project is done.

Tomorrow, the kids and I take off to my Mom and Dad's house until the work is completed. We are sad to be leaving Gabe for so long, especially since he has such hard work ahead of him. He is glad we are leaving, as all renovations are infinitely easier without babies underfoot.

I hope to be posting more often over the next week while I'm at my parent's house in SC. I have exciting news about future plans and new challenges that I would love to tell you all about! It's good to be back.

One more before I take off: E.'s haircut.

2009-03-27T22:39:00.000-04:00

Officially, my internet fast begins Sunday. I didn't think I'd have anything to write about between now and then, but today...
Elijah cut his hair!
I was on the phone in his room. One minute he was in there with me, playing, and the next minute he was gone. I didn't think much of it. He's free to roam the house.
But, then I noticed, things were.... quiet.
Mothers of toddlers know to leap into action when things get quiet.
I saw the pile of hair first. Then him.

I know it happens to the best of kids, maybe all kids at some point during childhood. Either they cut their own hair, they get gum stuck in it or something.
A drastic haircut is almost a rite of passage.

Elijah has beautifully curly hair. At the mall today, 2 different people commented about his beautiful curls. Its not uncommon. Here's a good shot of what his hair typically looks like. Cute, right?

I just gave him a great haircut last weekend. You can see in my "humility fail" post his hair had just been cut. A day or two after those pictures were taken, his cute little curls returned.

I have to admit I was bit emotional. I didn't cry, I didn't even come close, but I am sad. I tried to even it all up. It is so short, so uneven, a terrible haircut. It hasn't been this short since he was less than a year old.

I told Gabe he looks like an orphan. He said, "I don't get that... what is that supposed to mean?"
I just meant it looks like no one loves him enough to be bothered with a proper haircut.

I tried not to make him feel self conscientious about the whole thing. After the repair cut, I took him to the bathroom. I said gently, "E. are you ready to see your hair?", trying to prepare him for the shock. He's never seen himself this way, hair so short, curls gone.

I lifted him up to the mirror.
"It's all gone!", he said cheerfully and turned away from the mirror.

He could care less.
My goodness, the total un- self consciousness of this age (or this child, I don't know which).

What he looks like, is so the least of his concerns.

I could learn from him.

Resting my Mind

2009-03-26T22:32:00.000-04:00

Just wanted to say that I am taking a brief break from blogging and the internet, in general. I will be back when the time is right. For those who email me, I will still be checking email once a day, after the children are in bed.

Love,
Liz

Don't mind us, we're new here: Humility Fail.

2009-03-22T11:10:00.000-04:00

First sad, then mad about the news that he is not in charge.
Anybody else concerned about this child's need for power, of late?

Have you ever visited the Fail Blog ?*(see note at bottom)*
I find myself thinking in terms of this blog all the time now. Forget to Iron Gabe's shirts? Wife Fail. Burn the chicken? Dinner Fail.

We went to church this morning. It's a church we have been visiting for a few months. We really like it in so many ways, but we are still trying to determine our place there ( or where?).

During the children's teaching this morning, Ms. Sue, the children's leader was teaching about Proverbs 3:5-6--
Trust in the Lord with all of heart. Lean not on your own understanding,
In all of your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight.

She was particularly emphasizing the "acknowledge" part; trying to teach the children what means to acknowledge God, to give Him the power and authority in your life over all matters.
She was doing that by teaching them that we should allow God to be "in charge", because He really is, anyways.

Numerous times throughout the teaching she mentioned God being "in charge".

"So kids, who's in charge?", Ms. Sue opines, trying to teach about humility and trust.

Each time she said it, E. would announce loudly, "I'M IN CHARGE!"

Me, blushing and looking around at the patient smiles from our fellow church goers, would whisper, "E. please be quiet. No. You are not in Charge."

"I'M IN CHARGE!", E. announces again and again with gusto.

Later, I tell him, you know, "Really, Mommy and Daddy are in charge."
Daddy says, "Really, I am in charge."
I say, "Really, God's in charge."
E.'s response?, "I wanna be in charge of God."

Great. Just great. A little insurrectionist in out midst. Humility Fail.

Is it okay that I find (a little) humor in this.....if I promise that I will work with him on this until he understands that he can't be in charge of God, or me or Gabe?

*(View at your own risk: can be sort of questionable humor at times. Sometimes totally innocent, too. If you're worried, there is a G-rated section, look for that.)

Oh my!

2009-03-20T19:26:00.000-04:00

Gone too far.

2009-03-17T15:05:00.000-04:00

We have many parenting challenges.

One in particular stands out as a real issue for concern- E.'s penchant for running away in public places.

Our concerns are obvious, I'm sure, to any sound adult...
he could run too far,
I might lose sight of him
or him of me,
into traffic,
off a large precipice,
someone could take him, harm him.

As his mother, who loves him beyond all measure,
I will not rest, I will not be satisfied until I know that when I say "STOP",
the child will do so, not run headlong, giggling, in whatever direction I am not.
Can you relate?

If he begins to stray too far while we are out and about, I chirp: "Too far. Stay together."

If he ignores me and runs on, when I catch him,
I will stress with fervor that
God gave me a job when he put you in this family
and part of that job is:
"to do everything in my power to see you to adulthood safe and sound. It is my job to keep you safe and
if you are not with me, you are not safe."

My good friend J. posed an interesting question to me today: What is the Lord trying to teach us through our current parenting challenges?

I asked the Lord to show me and ....

He tenderly moved my heart and in my mind's eye
I saw E. running from me,
I was calling after him but
he ran on and I feared for him:
Why can't he understand that I only want the very best for him? I love him and I want him to in be in perfect peace. Not hurt, lost, scared, confused or worse.

I was convicted...
I am running, I've gone too far.
My Lord, My Good Father
is calling me.
I am dashing, giggling away.
I hear Him,
Come back, child. If you are not with me, you are not safe.
Come back, child.

I need Him to bring me back, to find me. I am out there, kind of lost.

I have gone astray like a lost sheep;
seek your servant;
for I do not forget your commandments.
Psalm 119:176

I know I have a Savior who not let me remain lost.

Whether you turn to the right or to the left,
your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying,
"This is the way; walk in it."

Isaiah 30:21

He loves me and wants me to be in perfect peace.

You will keep him in perfect peace,
whose mind is stayed on you: because he trusts in you.
Isaiah 26:3

Despite my utter faithlessness, He will always be faithful.

But You O Lord are a compassionate and merciful God,
You are patient,
always faithful and ready to forgive.
Psalm 86:15

Like a child, I am trusting that He will find me right where I am...
kind of lost out here somewhere.

I wanna be a leader.

2009-03-11T20:09:00.000-04:00

We took a family outing to Lowe's this afternoon. Elijah, ever the independent toddler, wants no part of a cart, preferring to walk everywhere. This is fun, and at times, trying.

I admit that after redirecting him many, many times Gabe and I began to be a tad impatient.
After being asked to come this way or that, he told us, one too many times, "No. Follow me."
(He likes to go his own way, bless his soul. And, hey, most of the day, at the park or at home, we are happy to say, "Okay, where are we going?")

But today, we had a plan that we were sticking to and Gabe very politely but firmly told him, "Elijah, you are not the leader, you are the follower. You do not lead, you follow, understand?"

For some reason, as I heard Gabe say these words, I felt very sad for my little man, rather, I think I felt his sadness over these words. Let it be known that, I am not criticizing Gabe, he is an amazing, amazing father, loving and devoted and in all ways, a super dad. AND I know that Gabe was doing the right thing; Elijah needed to be reigned in.

But sometimes,
often times,
a mother's heart is uniquely tuned to the melodies her child is making.
This was just one of those times, I knew something more needed to be said.

I felt a strong need to encourage E.. I needed to let him know that:
One day, he would be a leader.....
but first.....
he has to learn to lead...
and to do that..... he will need to follow sometimes.
I told him...
"Just keep following in Daddy's footsteps" and "You Will Be A Great Leader."

We continued to talk on about this for a few more minutes as we strolled through the store. And I thought, "Wow, what an awesome topic for us to be discussing. I pray that it makes an impression." This was the first time that we have had this sort of conversation, about what it means to be a leader, what it takes.

Fast forward to bedtime, tonight. Dinner, bath, PJs, books... all done... and now, it's time for sleep. Elijah was resisting and spiraling ever downward towards, what seemed to be, an inevitable meltdown.

Exasperation and exhaustion battled to rule over him.

I leaned into his beautiful face and, not expecting any answer to this comment and said, "It's hard being two, isn't it?"

He looked at me with sweet eyes, and a sad little voice then said, "I wanna be a leader. "

Gasp!
Heart flutters.

I wasn't expecting him to understand what I meant when I said that it is hard to be two... I meant... always being told what to do...shuffled from one thing to the next...like it or not.
He obviously got it.

I glimpsed my son tonight....my two year old son....as a man.
As a man, who knows his place as a leader, not a follower.
His heart already longs for it.

I grasped ever more clearly that our role as his parents is to nurture it,
to encourage it
and to teach it.

Because for now.... he must follow.

And now, I know I must be even more aware of who and what he is following after.

Mama said...

2009-03-09T20:06:00.000-04:00

....let there be order! And Daddy agreed.

We could take it no more. Elijah's toys had to be corralled. I wish I had a "before" picture, but, come on, you can picture it... toys everywhere. We had nowhere to put them, no way to clean up other than piling the toys into random containers and shoving them against the wall.

And now look! Thanks to Gabe, we are fully organized.

He whipped up this little jewel yesterday during the lovely spring-preview weather we are having. For my part, I am enjoying a greater sense of clarity and calm that infuses my brain every time I look in E.'s room and see... ahhhhh, deep breath... order.

Adventures in Eating

2009-03-06T10:15:00.000-05:00

Little Adah is an eager eater. But only for whole foods. She staunchly refuses mush. She will hold the mush in her mouth, never closing her lips ( I think for fear she might accidentally swallow the mush) until the mush runs, all slimey and liquid-y, back out her mouth and down her face. Yuck.

What to do? I did a little reading up on baby-led weaning. For those of you who are totally unfamiliar with this, basically, we skip the mush and go right to finger foods; allowing the child to lead the way with eating solids rather than vice-versa.

Adah has responded to this with aplomb. She attacks the food on her tray, literally lunging at it and pouncing on it with her fat hats, then shoveling into her face. She only eats a little. She still mostly sucks what I give her, tasting it, gumming it, then spitting it back out. It is an awful mess and not for a parent that cannot tolerate cleaning up after true disaster-style messes.

I think it's hilarious and I am happy to make her happy. And truth be told, I feel freed from the annoyance of spending months coaxing her, spoon in hand, to eat mush.

Daily Practice

2009-03-03T14:09:00.000-05:00

The picture above was taken by Elijah.
I keep it to remind myself that I am still 15-20lbs overweight.

All of a sudden I have a glut of ideas to blog about. A bunch of pictures and a thousand thoughts. But the one that seems the most pressing in my mind is the issue of daily practice.

I've been troubled by the lack of daily routines that enrich my life. I have several activities that I need/should/want to incorporate into my life. But for some reason, I cannot get it together. I start and stop in fits and never achieve the fulfillment that comes from making something a habit, a practice. What I want to know from you, my 5 regular readers, is--

If you have a daily practice of any kind, something that you do strictly for the purpose of bettering yourself in someway, (brushing teeth and other activities of the like, don't count, okay); what is it and what gets you there each day?

For me, these are the top priorities:

I want to read my bible everyday and spend time--dedicated time-- in prayer. Not that I don't pray daily, I do. But they are prayers muttered under my breath or cast up in desperation, usually for patience for one child or the other. I want to have the blessing and nourishment that comes from daily spiritual practice
I want to exercise regularly, maybe not everyday but at least every other. I need this, I want this and yet it is soooo hard to make it happen. Enough excuses!
I miss writing in my journal, sketching and chronicling my day to day highs and lows through art. That seems a far fetched possibility these days. But why? There are certainly mothers/ artists who somehow find the time to create while parenting, such as my dear friends Kelcey at Sweet Mess and Naomi at Naomi Layne Studio.

Do any of you struggle with getting it together like I do? I guess my main gripe with myself is, that I spend too much time wasted each day ( on the computer, watching tv, etc. ) that I could be spending on these other goals. I know I could carve out the time, so what's the problem? Motivation? Determination? Other?

First Snowman!

2009-03-02T13:45:00.000-05:00

It has been VERY snowy in Asheville this Winter. My Northern friends may scoff-- but for Asheville, we've had several days that brought a little bit of snow. It's really something special in the South. This latest brush with the white stuff was by far the biggest and best (about 4 inches!).

It was enough to build a snowman-finally! Elijah asks to build one every time we get the barest dusting of snow and up until now, it just wasn't possible. Gabe and Elijah built this one as Adah and I snuggled by the fire.

A lazy little post.

2009-02-26T20:18:00.000-05:00

A truly random assortment of pictures, just because.

(Adah, adorable, Adah.)
(Elijah paints.)
(Good friend, Kelcey; her daughter, Lilikoi; baby goats and Elijah.)
(A new set of painted people for birthday niece, Alexia.)

Two Gifts.

2009-02-19T11:04:00.001-05:00

Another attempt at Crochet: A headscarf for Jessica, Gabe's sister.
(Who shares my birthday, in January....yeah, it's a little late.)

And the other gift..... I've been working a bit. I am now working with 3 acquaintances to set up email marketing programs for their small businesses. I am helping them to build their lists, upload them into the mailing program, designing the newsletters and strategizing with them about how to best market to their clientele. Funny, huh? This is not something that I am trained in... marketing and design...and I have only minor amounts of self-taught experience in the work. Nonetheless, I've been busy with this and still not really sure where I am going with it. (Or where it is taking me. Maybe nowhere, after the job with these 3 is complete? That could be it.)
It's not something I planned for or envisioned for myself, but I am not turning away from the opportunity.

A Snow Day with Daddy

2009-02-04T21:40:00.000-05:00

Another blizzard here in Asheville. We are up to the roof line with snow... snow forts, giant snowmen, snow shoes, ice skating... yep!

Nope. But we did get about an inch over night. Which for a 2 year, who knows no different, was great! Here are some pictures of Daddy and E. having a "snowball fight" and "sledding".

Getting bundled up.

Teaching Elijah how to make snowballs

Get Mommy!

Daddy hits Elijah with a snowball!

Elijah gets Daddy!

Our attempt at sledding without a sled

Back inside and playing Firemen.