Our Advent Calender and Christmas Tree

I am so pleased with my last minute, totally free and "up-cycled" Advent calender...

I made little pockets from brown paper bags, decorated them with clippings from old Christmas cards, a Target ad and the most recent issue of Martha Stewart Living, added generous amounts of iridescent glitter and voila! Now granted, this is not my dream advent calender. I spent way too long seeking inspiration from the wonderfully creative examples of advent awesomeness out there in the blogosphere. I know how adorable and stylish they can be. (Go ahead, Google it and see how creative some people are.) But you know what?  Ta-dah! Its done and in one afternoon! And its all me.  AND its the act of counting the days (and making them count) that I am most interested in.

Each day will have a special activity to celebrate the season. My main goal is to completely immerse ourselves in the biblical account of Jesus's birth. We will be reading from Matthew 1:18-2:23 
and Luke 1 and 2.  Many of our activities will be inspired from these texts.We will soak up the wonder that the same God who created the universe had a plan to redeem his fallen creation which began with him entering the world as a tiny baby, born of a peasant woman, in the poorest of conditions.  Amazing!

Also we will:

Make Christmas tree ornaments

make and drink hot chocolate

cut and decorate snowflakes
make beeswax candles

go for a winter walk

go see Christmas lights at Lake Julian

make gingerbread men

watch a Christmas movie

make snow globes

donate clothes, food and gifts to needy

make outdoor ice art

make presents for Grandparents

 Return to Bethlehem
have a special breakfast, lunch and dinner
visit family and friends
go to a Christmas parade
bake cookies

On down days, we'll read Christmas books by the fire. As a back up for the unexpected monkey wrench, (because life happens:) I have a few pieces of chocolate stashed away.

Wish me luck, I am so excited!!

And here is our lovely tree...

 

Anniversary

Gabe and I celebrate our 4th wedding anniversary today, June 11th.

We stand today, thick in child-rearing and home-building. Not a man and a woman. A man, a woman, a boy and a girl. Four years and a family.
Our marriage is young, already we are strained. We come together in worship once a week.
We speak His name daily. But, we do not pray as we should, nor repent and ask for forgiveness as we should, from each other or from God. We do not seek God, rely upon and lean on Him the way we should. We each struggle, over-burdened, trying to shoulder our load alone, so as not to lay more upon the other. It is not easy and our marriage is young.

Sometimes, it feels as if our relationship is ruled by and exists solely for providing for and protecting the boy and the girl. Who are we apart from the little people who come between us and always before us? Who are we when we are not climbed upon, clamored over? When we do not have to beg the boy to let us speak, or pry the girl from my breast, when we are just Gabe and Liz.

(And obviously, we love the boy and the girl more than words can tell and do not for a minute wish that they would grow and leave us any faster than they already are. No, not for one minute. We savor them.)

But, I do look with wonder towards the days when Gabe and I will have the space and the freedom to explore again who we are, not as Mommy/Daddy, but as man and woman.

I love and am in-love with Gabe. He is my man, my good husband, father of my children, provider, protector, friend and lover. The desire of my heart is to always honor what we vowed to protect and preserve: our love, our unity. I want our marriage to last, to outlast. To outlast the sleeplessness nights, the years of building-- career, family, home. To outlast the doubts and the fears, the pettiness and pet peeves. If we promise to maintain for the sake of the children only...

What will be on the other side of child raising? When the young ones are grown and gone... will we have built a solid love, proven and tested, ready for anything? Or will we be left, two people, lonely, together for the sake of pretense, bitter and angry? What can we do now to promise that we will be solid, stronger, even more in love when it is just 'Gabe and Liz', a man and a woman, again?

I wonder these things as we celebrate what feels like the fastest, most meaningful and fulfilling and yes, challenging, 4 years of my life.

I end this rambler with the poem The Man Moves Earth by Cathy Song:

The man moves earth
to dispel grief.
He digs holes
the size of cars.
In proportion to what is taken
what is given multiplies—
rain-swollen ponds
and dirt mounds
rooted with flame-tipped flowers.
He carries trees like children
struggling to be set down.
Trees that have lived
out their lives,
he cuts and stacks
like loaves of bread
which he will feed the fire.
The green smoke sweetens
his house.

The woman sweeps air
to banish sadness.
She dusts floors,
polishes objects
made of clay and wood.
In proportion to what is taken
what is given multiplies—
the task of something
else to clean.
Gleaming appliances
beg to be smudged,
breathed upon by small children
and large animals
flicking out hope
as she whirls by,
flap of tongue,
scratch of paw,
sweetly reminding her.

The man moves earth,
the woman sweeps air.
Together they pull water
out of the other,
pull with the muscular
ache of the living,
hauling from the deep
well of the body
the rain-swollen,
the flame-tipped,
the milk-fed—
all that cycles
through lives moving,
lives sweeping, water
circulating between them
like breath,
drawn out of leaves by light.

Video Update

Tonight, I am posting two videos that relate to recent concerns of mine. I mentioned in my "I want to tell you" post that I was concerned that Adah was not crawling and that Elijah and I were struggling with respect and boundaries. This first video is of Adah crawling, yay, finally! You'll notice she is watching out for her brother, smart girl. He is shooting hoops, I don't think he ever got any in the goal but he hit the camera with the basketball.



The second is of Elijah reciting his first bible memory verse! It is Ephesians 6:1 ~ "Children obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right", in case you can't quite make it out.



He was so excited to learn it and loves to say it. Since learning it we have witnessed an amazing turn around in his attitude and behavior. It is absolutely true what God says in Isaiah 55:10-11:

“ For as the rain comes down, and the snow from heaven,
And do not return there,
But water the earth,
And make it bring forth and bud,
That it may give seed to the sower
And bread to the eater,
So shall My word be that goes forth from My mouth;
It shall not return to Me void,
But it shall accomplish what I please,
And it shall prosper in the thing for which I sent it."

Dedication

( Somehow no pictures with the children facing forward.)

We had a baby dedication at our church this past Sunday. We asked to dedicate both Elijah and Adah. Here is what we promised in brief:

For Elijah Gabriel, our first born child and son, your name means My God is the Lord/ God is my might, may this be true for your whole life.

For Adah Lucia, our second born child, first daughter, your name means Adornment/ Light, may you be an Adorning Light.

We as your parents promise to:

Learn how to BE with Jesus, to make Him first in our life.
Protect our Covenant love for each other (our marriage).
Pray for you and your relationship to Jesus.
Nurture you in the Kingdom of God.
Disciple your self will asking your Heavenly Father for wisdom.
Seek God, even when life is full and complicated.
Ask your forgiveness when we make a mistake.
Forgive you when you make a mistake.
Lead you by example.
Persevere in our walk with God.

Each of these points was fleshed out and brought to life for us as we stood before our church family. The dedication was much more about Gabe and myself than E. and A. The focus was on our responsibility to God for their sakes.

It was sobering, authentic and already fruit is growing on the vines of those promises.

Don't mind us, we're new here: Humility Fail.

First sad, then mad about the news that he is not in charge.
Anybody else concerned about this child's need for power, of late?



Have you ever visited the Fail Blog ?*(see note at bottom)*
I find myself thinking in terms of this blog all the time now. Forget to Iron Gabe's shirts? Wife Fail. Burn the chicken? Dinner Fail.

We went to church this morning. It's a church we have been visiting for a few months. We really like it in so many ways, but we are still trying to determine our place there ( or where?).

During the children's teaching this morning, Ms. Sue, the children's leader was teaching about Proverbs 3:5-6--
Trust in the Lord with all of heart. Lean not on your own understanding,
In all of your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight.

She was particularly emphasizing the "acknowledge" part; trying to teach the children what means to acknowledge God, to give Him the power and authority in your life over all matters.
She was doing that by teaching them that we should allow God to be "in charge", because He really is, anyways.

Numerous times throughout the teaching she mentioned God being "in charge".

"So kids, who's in charge?", Ms. Sue opines, trying to teach about humility and trust.

Each time she said it, E. would announce loudly, "I'M IN CHARGE!"

Me, blushing and looking around at the patient smiles from our fellow church goers, would whisper, "E. please be quiet. No. You are not in Charge."

"I'M IN CHARGE!", E. announces again and again with gusto.

Later, I tell him, you know, "Really, Mommy and Daddy are in charge."
Daddy says, "Really, I am in charge."
I say, "Really, God's in charge."
E.'s response?, "I wanna be in charge of God."

Great. Just great. A little insurrectionist in out midst. Humility Fail.

Is it okay that I find (a little) humor in this.....if I promise that I will work with him on this until he understands that he can't be in charge of God, or me or Gabe?

*(View at your own risk: can be sort of questionable humor at times. Sometimes totally innocent, too. If you're worried, there is a G-rated section, look for that.)

Gone too far.

We have many parenting challenges.

One in particular stands out as a real issue for concern- E.'s penchant for running away in public places.

Our concerns are obvious, I'm sure, to any sound adult...
he could run too far,
I might lose sight of him
or him of me,
into traffic,
off a large precipice,
someone could take him, harm him.

As his mother, who loves him beyond all measure,
I will not rest, I will not be satisfied until I know that when I say "STOP",
the child will do so, not run headlong, giggling, in whatever direction I am not.
Can you relate?

If he begins to stray too far while we are out and about, I chirp: "Too far. Stay together."

If he ignores me and runs on, when I catch him,
I will stress with fervor that
God gave me a job when he put you in this family
and part of that job is:
"to do everything in my power to see you to adulthood safe and sound. It is my job to keep you safe and
if you are not with me, you are not safe."

My good friend J. posed an interesting question to me today: What is the Lord trying to teach us through our current parenting challenges?

I asked the Lord to show me and ....

He tenderly moved my heart and in my mind's eye
I saw E. running from me,
I was calling after him but
he ran on and I feared for him:
Why can't he understand that I only want the very best for him? I love him and I want him to in be in perfect peace. Not hurt, lost, scared, confused or worse.

I was convicted...
I am running, I've gone too far.
My Lord, My Good Father
is calling me.
I am dashing, giggling away.
I hear Him,
Come back, child. If you are not with me, you are not safe.
Come back, child.

I need Him to bring me back, to find me. I am out there, kind of lost.

I have gone astray like a lost sheep;
seek your servant;
for I do not forget your commandments.
Psalm 119:176

I know I have a Savior who not let me remain lost.

Whether you turn to the right or to the left,
your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying,
"This is the way; walk in it."

Isaiah 30:21

He loves me and wants me to be in perfect peace.

You will keep him in perfect peace,
whose mind is stayed on you: because he trusts in you.
Isaiah 26:3

Despite my utter faithlessness, He will always be faithful.

But You O Lord are a compassionate and merciful God,
You are patient,
always faithful and ready to forgive.
Psalm 86:15

Like a child, I am trusting that He will find me right where I am...
kind of lost out here somewhere.

Daily Practice

The picture above was taken by Elijah.
I keep it to remind myself that I am still 15-20lbs overweight.

All of a sudden I have a glut of ideas to blog about. A bunch of pictures and a thousand thoughts. But the one that seems the most pressing in my mind is the issue of daily practice.

I've been troubled by the lack of daily routines that enrich my life. I have several activities that I need/should/want to incorporate into my life. But for some reason, I cannot get it together. I start and stop in fits and never achieve the fulfillment that comes from making something a habit, a practice. What I want to know from you, my 5 regular readers, is--


If you have a daily practice of any kind, something that you do strictly for the purpose of bettering yourself in someway, (brushing teeth and other activities of the like, don't count, okay); what is it and what gets you there each day?

For me, these are the top priorities:

1. I want to read my bible everyday and spend time--dedicated time-- in prayer. Not that I don't pray daily, I do. But they are prayers muttered under my breath or cast up in desperation, usually for patience for one child or the other. I want to have the blessing and nourishment that comes from daily spiritual practice
2. I want to exercise regularly, maybe not everyday but at least every other. I need this, I want this and yet it is soooo hard to make it happen. Enough excuses!
3. I miss writing in my journal, sketching and chronicling my day to day highs and lows through art. That seems a far fetched possibility these days. But why? There are certainly mothers/ artists who somehow find the time to create while parenting, such as my dear friends Kelcey at Sweet Mess and Naomi at Naomi Layne Studio.

Do any of you struggle with getting it together like I do? I guess my main gripe with myself is, that I spend too much time wasted each day ( on the computer, watching tv, etc. ) that I could be spending on these other goals. I know I could carve out the time, so what's the problem? Motivation? Determination? Other?