Resume?

I have struggled for years to string my odd jobs and stumbled- upon skill sets into a cohesive one-page, sleek, organized format--i.e., the all important resume.

Tonight, I sit with cheerful and encouraging How to Write a Resume type books, fresh from the library, opened all around me. Computer screen open, mind open, ready to take this minor, little step into "official adulthood". Instead of getting started, however, here I am on Blessed Lessons, dodging the bullet for a few more minutes.

Why is this so hard for me? Anybody out there want to help me get this done? Who out there is a resume genius? I need you now.