I was given a boat load of vintage art supplies. Most of them are still in great condition and all of them are the very best brands. It was a major score. In the box was about 30 of these little wooden panels. I have been fooling around with them. 

Here are my first efforts.

Happy Birthday Adah!

Sweet Adah. Even as a baby she was such a sweet and happy soul. She loves deeply, feels deeply, cares deeply. She is gentle, generous, and thoughtful. I love how she ponders aloud about God and heaven. I love how makes up songs and dances for Jesus, even when she thinks no one is watching or listening. I love how she brings little toys to her sister when she is crying or to her brother when he's trouble; trying to find a way to cheer them up. I love how she thinks the best of others even when they don't always deserve it.  She is my sweet daughter on loan from a good God. How I love her so! Today she is 5 years old.

Sweet Joy and Peace

What a joyous day, with so much peace,  as we gathered with family to celebrate the very heart of our Christian faith, the resurrection of Jesus. I am blessed beyond measure to have been brought by God's grace to a faith in the life, death and life again of Jesus. A line from one of my favorite hymns, Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing perfectly sums up how I see my life as a result God's great love for me:

Jesus sought me when a stranger,

Wandering from the fold of God;

He, to rescue me from danger,

Interposed His precious blood;

How His kindness yet pursues me

Mortal tongue can never tell,

Clothed in flesh, till death shall loose me

I cannot proclaim it well.

He removed the blinders from eyes and revealed to me His great truths. He allowed to me to believe by showing me all that I could never see before.

And with all sweetness we also celebrated Naomi's second birthday. Words cannot express what a gift and treasure she is to me, to all of us. Unbelievable, deep swelling love for this darling girl. Its of course, bittersweet to see her grow and change: to be talking more and understanding more and craving more and more independence. I am excited to see who is she becoming but sad that she is growing so fast and is no longer my little baby. To be honest, I have been more than a little weepy
about it. I just want to be able to scoop her up and snuggle her close... forever.

A painting in progress and the progress of painting

This painting is inspired by psalm 121: 

   I lift up my eyes to the mountains—where does my help come from? 

  My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth.

This is in progress and there is still much to do before its finished. It is a slow process of learning (again) how to paint. When I was a younger gal without kids and a husband and home to care for, I didn't make art. I was just far too self conscious. Now that the desire to paint is swelling up inside of me so strongly that I can no longer ignore it,  I struggle to find the time. Oh, the irony.

But I am beginning to think that lack of free time is conducive to my creative tendencies! Typically when I first paint or draw something I really dislike it. All I can see are the flaws and my inner critic
picks it apart until there is nothing left but dry bones. I want to walk away from it and never look at it again. Many a time my attempts at art didn't make it past this first stage of creation; I gave up because the created thing looked so foolish and ugly to me.

These days the inner critic doesn't get a lot of opportunity to destroy my art. I paint for a minute or two or an hour at most, but then life calls: the children, dinner, dogs, etc. I must get up and move on. The inner monster might still voice an opinion of disgust over the "ugly" thing I've made but there is no time to dwell on it. Days may go by before I am able to sit down to the painting again. By then, I see it differently: it doesn't look so bad or I see what needs to be done next. Ironically, I think its having the children that has made it possible for me to finish paintings lately. I think I work better in small doses, when I am able to ride the creative impulse with pleasure and get up and move on before the monster of doubt appears to pick it clean. Also, life is very short and moving quickly. I don't want to miss out on the sheer pleasure of making art anymore. I feel very blessed to have a few minutes here and there to add a touch of golden green or a wisp of cloud.

I have given myself the guideline of allowing scripture to inspire my paintings, as a framework and a jumping off point. Its quite wonderful as scripture provides more than enough beautiful points to jump off from. Despite having this structure I still struggle about how to interpret the scriptures into art. I have gone at it three or four different ways now. First, I was painting a scene, then adding the text digitally over the paintings. Although, this is certainly an easy way to do it, I wasn't thrilled with the look of the digitally words over the painting. So recently, I tried hand lettering and making the hand painted words be the focus of the paintings rather than the images. That was unnatural to me and challenging in an unproductive way. I started three paintings over three times each trying to get the words and spacing just right. One painting will never be finished because I abandoned it all together. Now I am back to allowing the visuals drive the painting and I am still meditating on how to incorporate the scripture. What do you think?

Each painting is helping me to get closer to who I am as an artist. With each new painting, I am learning something about what I want to make and what my heart wants to see. This latest painting is the one that feels the most authentic to me. The one that feels closest to what is in me and really wanting to come out. 

If It Be Your Will.....

I wrote in my last post that there are two songs by singer-songwriter Leonard Cohen which have been especially inspirational and moving during my recent artistic revival. I wrote about Cohen's famous song - Anthem and how I listen to it to be reminded that even our imperfect offerings are valuable when offered in Love.  

There is a second song ( and really I love just about all of his work) that has meant so much to me lately- If It Be Your Will. Cohen has said that this song was written as a prayer during a particularly challenging time in his life.

He submits his gift of song to the Lord and says,

If it be your will
That I speak no more
And my voice be still
As it was before
I will speak no more
I shall abide until
I am spoken for
If it be your will

If it be your will
That a voice be true
From this broken hill
I will sing to you
From this broken hill
All your praises they shall ring
If it be your will
To let me sing

This song is so incredibly powerful to me. Although I don't choose to (publicly) express myself through song, I can relate entirely to his plea with the Lord. Many times in recent days, I have asked God to either give me the ability to paint and to create or to take the desire away from me. Either to help me to overcome the obstacles I perceive or to simply set me at peace about this urge to make art.

Art has become, for me, a way to commune with God, an opportunity to revere the Holy and to make visible the Divine and creative Spirit that resides in me, an act of worship. I believe the Lord has given me the desire and the ability to be creative, but if its not His will for me to do this, then I am fully ready to set it aside. I never, ever want to be outside the will of God.

Here I attach a video of The Webb Sisters singing his song live in London with a great intro from Cohen. I love Leonard's version, but the Webb Sisters really are beautiful.

Anthem

When I was little, I believed I was, and always would be, an artist. I don't really know why I gave up on that belief as I approached adulthood.  I floundered and flopped my way back to very, very self conscious attempts at art in college... and off and on throughout my twenties.

And now, midway through my thirties, 

I am finally ready to be whatever kind of artist I am, without worry over whether or not its good.

 Just a humble offering from a willing servant. 

The old voices and old ways (perpetual failure and doubt) want to worm their way back in. 
 I hear them and then tell them: they have no power over me anymore:
My God is a Creator and He made me in His image.

 I may never be a famous or good artist, but I can paint, and I am a child of God.
I have something to offer.

Can I tell you how Leonard Cohen helps me through my doubtful and worried moments? The ones where I feel... this is stupid. I hate this. I give up.  (How many artists put on music to create? I am sure many. All?) I put on music and play the same songs over and over. Leonard Cohen makes me want to move to Paris. I get lost in his poetic and moody lyrics. Two of his songs, in particular, push me beyond myself and help to move me forward (to refuse to be stagnant/stuck or even worse-- look backwards) during, this, my renaissance of creativity. 

The first is Anthem...

"Ring the bells that still can ring. Forget your perfect offering. 

There is a crack, a crack in everything. That's how the light gets in."

  

There is no perfect offering. 

Now, Cohen is Jewish, but so was Jesus. This song, I feel it so spiritually. We are flawed and cracked beyond our own ability to repair. But the Light of the World pours in through those cracks and makes us whole and useful.

  

Whatever it is that you have to offer, it will never be perfect.
 But please, make your offering.

Lay it at the feet of the Lord
and be at peace.

More on the second song soon...

Elijah Recites Psalm 23

This is his first lengthy memorization. He worked on it a little everyday for a couple of weeks. When he consistently got it all right I thought it was time to make it official. I am really proud of him.

So far, so good!

Apple still life paintings: (clockwise- Mommy's, Elijah's, Adah's)

 Our first week of homeschooling is going wonderfully! I do believe my planning worked! The days have been smooth and easy. The difference, for me, between "winging it" and planning, cannot be understated. Last year's attempt at "winging it" resulted in fizzled enthusiasm on all of our parts. 

I know this about myself.... I know, and everyone close to me would agree, that I am often filled with great bursts of enthusiasm and determination about one thing or another, becoming absolutely consumed with an idea or a plan for a month or two and then,

 just like that....  over it.  

(or discouraged and confused and giving up)

Having made concrete goals and objectives, planned out and prepared, having materials organized and ready, having a schedule and purpose in mind everyday.... 

this is going to be the secret to our success. I just know it. 

That, and the goodness of the Lord who knows my weakness and, "And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for you: for my strength is made perfect in weakness." 1 Cor 2:9

Our 2012-2013 School Schedule

Bible  OT Mem.Verse	Bible   NT Mem. Verse	Bible   OT Mem.Verse	Bible  NT Mem. Verse	Devotional Hymn Mem.Verse
Math	Math	Math	Math	Math
Literature  Read Aloud	Literature Read Aloud	Literature Read Aloud	Literature Read Aloud	Literature Read Aloud
Copy work letters Bible	Copy work letters Poetry	Copy work  letters Character	Copy work letters Literature	Copy work letters Personal Journal
History/ Geography Ancient World	Science	History/ Geography  American	Science	Nature Walk and Journal
Spanish  Salsa	Spanish Pronunciator	Spanish  Salsa	Spanish Pronunciator	Spanish flash cards and Review
Hymn Review and Practice	Artist Study	Composer	Art/handicrafts	Folk Music/ Movement
Piano	Piano	Piano	Piano	Piano
Elijah Free Read for 15 min Adah Computer phonic	Elijah Free Read for 15 min Adah Computer phonic	Elijah Free Read for 15 min Adah Computer phonic	Elijah Free Read for 15 min Adah Computer phonic	Elijah Free Read for 15 min Adah Computer phonic

I realize this looks like an awful lot!  But one of the major tenets of CM philosophy is short lessons for young children. For Elijah and Adah's age, each of these lessons is about 15-20 minute max. Fifteen minutes is about the length of time that a child their age can give undivided attention on any subject; there should always be an expectation for undivided attention when having lessons. When they are no longer able to fully focus, the lesson should end and move to another subject.

Also, lessons should feel relaxed and enjoyable. And most of this will be me reading to them from wonderful books, so don't feel too bad for them. We are not going stress out over any of this. Many of these subjects (history, science, art and music) we are only doing once or twice a week. At this age, I just want a gentle introduction to a wide variety of topics. I am expecting to spend 2-3 hours a day on school, broken up between morning and afternoon.

We will do most of this together as a family, though Adah will be free to join in or not depending on her level of interest. She will also have a separate phonic study with just Mommy while Elijah is required to read silently from any book of his choice daily.

Bible
Read from Old Testament and New Testament, choosing verses to memorize and practicing them. Also, Little Visits with God devotional weekly.

Hymn
Learn to sing 1-2 new hymns per term

Math
Review Kindergarten math, begin 1st grade math (using Singapore Math now, will be changing soon)

Literature
Read aloud from Aesop's for Children by Milo Winter, 50 Famous Stories Retold by James Baldwin, A Child's Garden of Verses by Robert Lewis Stephenson, The Blue Fairy Book by Andrew Lang, Just So Stories by Rudyard Kipling. Also choosing 1-2 novels to read starting Charlotte's Web by EB White.

History/Geography
World History- Starting with ancient civilizations, one day a week, and Early American History beginning with Native Americans, one day a week. Will use a selection of living books to tell stories from these periods and Kingfisher Illustrated History of the World as a spine text. Geography will happen naturally as we study times and places.

Science
Will cover a wide variety of Earth, Physical and Life Sciences using living books and personal experience and observation as a core. Plan to emphasize the world right around us by doing nature walks and nature journals. Also reading, A Handbook of Nature Study by Anna Comstock, books from the series The People of the... by Clara Dillingham Pierson and James Herriot's Treasury for Children. Will learn 6 native trees, 6 birds, 6 wildflowers/ plants each term.

Copy work
Daily practice copying very short verses, poems, songs, etc. to introduce handwriting practice and grammar as well as reinforcing memory work (1 sentence at this age).

Memory Work
Strive to memorize 2-3 bible verses, one hymn and one short poem each term ( short 5-10 min, casual practice sessions)

Spanish
Watch Salsa videos online 2/ week ( free children's show with puppets speaking entirely in Spanish- very cute), use Pronunciator 2/week ( free language learning database offered through my local library system- amazing! Casual review using flash cards.

Artist study
Introduce 2 artists per term, look at their art, talk about their lives. Going to try to cover Artists from all different periods, styles and mediums.

Music study
1-2 per term, listen to music by composer, talk about the life of the person. Once weekly Folk Music intro with some dance thrown in for fun.

Art/ Handicraft 
Introduce 1-2 forms of art or hand craft or useful life skill each term for each child to practice.

Piano
Daily piano practice using Adventures in Piano by Faber and Faber.


For More information about where I gathered these studies or specifics about techniques in teaching in each subject look here:
Ambleside Online Year 1 book list
Simply Charlotte Mason Free Curriculum
Charlotte Mason Help Free Curriculum Year 1